you can be that tortured soul as much as you wish
dreaming of her and passing the cigarette to me
she can be your lover, your midnight dreams
she could be your everything, she could be your queen
but she's not here
it's just me
right by your side
boneless with fear

Unforgettable, that's what you are,
Unforgettable, do you want to hire a car..
That's why darling, you need a Audi,
Keep it simple and say it proudly...

**Are you paying too much, for your car insurance?

Imagine This:
Open window, smell of the sea
Your arm around my stomach, pulling closer to me.
The white sheets tangled at our feet,
The perfect harmony of our heart beats.

Your pointer finger drawing a line-
First my neck, then my shoulder, tracing my spine
The hills of my ribcage, the curve of my waist,
Settling on the place you have so often chased.

You got it, it's yours, are you happy?
I really hope so.
I gave it, it's yours, am I happy?
I really don't know.

Should I post it?
Should I not?
Should I tell her what I thought?

i remember the ruins
concrete and rebar
rain-slick and strewn
in the dark front yard
the hounds
they poured from the woods
and melted the ground
where the crowned one stood
my clothes were drenched
in chalky cinder
my hands were wedged
against the door

I can't change.
I can only rearrange
These wayward thoughts
In my brain
To seem
A little less insane.

Playing mind games
In my brain waves,
I'm a slave
To the way I misbehave.

I forgave,
But those memories stay
To haunt me and taunt me
Both night and day.
I think I'm stuck this way.

Bottled rage
Gravity's cage
My daily stage.


I won't engage.

**** this plague
Let it fade.

I drift away.

C.eM. 5.11.14

There's something inexplicable
about the way
they make you feel




nothing.

Happiness is fleeting
but
you are your own mistake
you keep repeating.

one of these nights
might turn out right
if you keep your mouth shut
like the door you're always
finding yourself behind
with your back against the wood,
muscles tensing
as you knew they would.


Nose bleeding-
when is the last time you ate?
It took you an hour to get ready but
no one can see all your hard work
in the shade.

"baby, you look great"
is all you wanted to grace you ears
but you've got too much on your plate
and there are only couples here.

They will pay you no mind
and you will begin to feel
you might have been left behind.

you pretend you aren't hungry
because it seems more grungy.
cigarettes will stain your teeth
and smoke will spin circles at your feet
as you sway alone;

always hanging in the wings
you're looking for another drink
another triple shot
and you sink deeper into
the half-assed hope
that this will be a night
you forgot.

Just more meaningless crumbs
of these evening hours
accumulating into an unusable mass
of dried out nights

exaggerate another fight
you had with your mind-
what will you do when they call you out
for being lower than the grout
in the bathroom
baby face like you just came out of the womb
your knife is duller than
your conversation topic
you're a fake-
From a mile away can you be spotted.

Drained of inspiration
plagued by perpetual consternation
what will you sample next
on your way to a falsified elation.

Spending weeks away dragon chasing-
How long will you be on mental vacation?
They're growing impatient.

C.e.M. 12.21.2014

Fear Of Missing Out

This is the phobia many of the readers are plagued by.

I came to know about it just recently through an article published in the newspaper. Many people these days think that if they don't have a "Facebook", "Twitter", "G+" or any other social website account, or if their mobile doesn't have "Whatsapp" or any other so-called "social application" in "a smartphone" then they think that they are missing out on worldly affairs and start taming a phobia, dubbed F.O.M.O. by psychologists around the globe.

I am disillusioned by the need of an indispensable online society where people all behave in a virtual manner and project themselves to be the best.