Your very presence does to me,
the inexplicable.
I watch you shyly.
You, walkin' like a lady.
in smokin' yoga pants.
Lately rocking only sweats.
I swear you had a beard one day.
I want to approach you, eager, and say:
"I like it. Please take me away."

Confines stunt now and wilt my insides
when I simply chance a glance at mirrors.
Why would I stay here when I'm unwelcome?
These ******* confines wilt me and
will **** me someday, much faster then the
cancer I'd like.

Can't get you out of my head,
thrashin' nightly in my bed.
Who the ****'s to say I can't live the way
I see myself deeply, inside out?
But then I dream about the toilets.
I still dream about the tension.
How do you walk so tall
and split the difference when you're broke as ****?
Morally bankrupt, hunting pennies to pay your sins?
Is this line you walk
the brittle back of safety, or
is this line that's been drawn
the fear of native captives
waiting for spit?
I like it so much I'd even meet you
on your worst day just knowing
I could be the god I am,
without definition,
**** and lying on grass.

The tears of gender on my bed sheets,
too tired of the run to get up.
I'll inter myself, to ******* rise anew,
no obligations outside of love,
and if it makes old love boil in blood,
then,

****.

I was Vivacious, lively, wild.
A girl who was wild and free.
I was the romantic,  the addict.
the unhealthiest of combinations.

With you
I confused
Trust with Lust.

they say you wanted this from the first moment, and in the end you were deadly.

there was no middle ground
you would **** all on this earth,
setting the place on fire and
the water cannot save me
        if you cannot have me.

it is okay to be breakable,
to never rely on anything as indecisive as chance.
to be fake, be secretive
to stop giving it more attention than it needs.

Temptation lies ahead.
but romance is still alive, if you put forth the effort.

I need to learn to fall in love with a person- not just the idea of
falling
        in
     love.
I should know by now that I can be
deeply emotional or completely merciless,
there can be no in between.

I am a Mermaid,
I am a Phoenix ,
I will rise from the ashes of this broken love and break free of the tides that have all but drowned me over the years.

You have no power over me.

I am Vivacious, lively, wild.
A girl who is wild and free.
I AM the romantic, I will always be the addict.
the unhealthiest of combinations,

but also the most exciting.

^¡^

/\^/\/\^^/\^^/\/\


like a wraith your smoke doth rise
into sulphur yellow skies
a fiery raptor... awesome sized
where the sultry brimstone lies.

from the ash... so grey and dry
erupting with a piercing cry
as volcanoes steam and sigh
dancing on the sparks you fly!

the devil mounts your back to ride
over molten rivers wide
his golden spurs dig in your side
on the thermals... up you glide!

then you turn and make a dive
into the flames
where you may thrive
born of fire you survive
you were dead...

but now ALIVE!!!


soulsurvivor
(c) 2014
rewritten
(c) 3-17-2015

like a joyous phoenix
you have to arise from
the ashes of your past
leave the pain behind
be happy my friend
in the present of this
glorious new day

I can feel the fire
licking up my legs until they are charred,
black as my soul is believed to be.
Screams of the innocent echo in my ears.
This was meant to be my funeral pyre.

I **** myself awake
drenched in sweat, with a shriek of pain
catching like a lump in my throat.
Sheets bunched up against me like kindling
gathered to be lit beneath the stake.

I glance around the room
still feeling the eyes of my accusers
bearing into me, hatred blazing the
path of their need for destruction.
“WITCH!”
Many fates sealed with a single word.

Except I am still alive,
the blood of the crimeless flowing through my veins.
Those flames that condemn
spared no one but me, resurrected from the embers.
The Sole Witch of Salem, survived.

Crashing--
Burning--
The ache of a new-found divinity
Instills my soul with a
Fire

Extinguished;
Another fire-longing is born,
Birthed as a
Phoenix
Rising from the
Ashes.

i now bear the burden of the phoenix,
but your heat is what sets me ablaze.

day by day,
i take the beating of your rays,
and sizzle and frizzle
in your stay.

when the time comes to turn to ash,
i find myself with charred hope.
for some reason i still swallow the same smoldered smoke.

my wings dance with the tongues of your ardent flare.
wither and thither boy,
who still whispers wisps of wild prayer