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Journal Entry #10

I had the worst overwhelming stressed out day at work.
I felt like crying.
I felt out of my element.
I had no strength to go on.

And it was in that moment..
That I thought of you.
I wanted nothing more than to come home,
Bury my face in your warm embrace and cry.
All I needed was your strong arms wrapped around me tight and I'd know that everything would be alright.

It was only when I walked through the door of my empty lonely apartment that I realized.

"Oh.... that's right I'm not married."
Journal Entry #9

To lame to stand how I feel..
I press my lips to this glass filled with forget and I swallow deep.

Standing in nothing but a t-shirt, alone in this big empty apartment. I take solace in this glass to numb the pain within.

But as the music changes a song that reminds me of you starts playing.
How Ironic wouldnt you say...


I close my eyes tightly...
tense up..
try to fight it...
but before I know it my body is a slave to this beat and it makes my body come alive.

My hand grazes my bare thighs and I lose myself just briefly....
I pause, as I remember how good it felt when you touched me.

I remember the electricity and how you use to look at me.
God, the chemistry...
moments later your face appears so clear and perfect in my mind.

"Oh god, I hate this!" I think, as I press into the counter top behind me.
I try my hardest to stop thinking about you but memories of you are coming in waves and im being swept away.

I cant help but imagine what it felt like when youd slide your hands to wrap around me...
my god, the safest I ever felt.


I ache for you.

These memories are torment.

Tears stream down my flushed cheeks.

I bring my hand to my lips and I'm lost again.
I imagine bringing your lips to mine and how much of a rush it was each time.
You were intoxicating.
Kissing you was like a drug I could never kick.
Always wanting more.
Entangled in eachother.
Hold tight, each moment I did. Never wanting it to end.
Kissing in such synchronisation. Kissing you was nothing but second nature.

But I fight it, I try and shake it off.
shake you off.
my hips begin to sway falling slave again to our perfect song.
To the beat of my favorite song. The song about us.


I dont know how you do it.
I dont know how you forget such an addicting thing we had.
But you did and I'm lost with only memories now.
Memories I have to bury.
Because they give me so much pleasure but also so much pain.
Hillary B Apr 2018
falling over roots of past love
bumps permanently in route
covered by lichen
hidden nearly completely by time
run safely
dance lightly
for the roots are always underfoot
emerging even in the clearest of meadows
where brooks babble
fauna flock
flowers grow freely
a refuge from roots

even in this refuge
roots start to emerge
they see the brook with thirsty eyes
they long for one long sip
be careful
for when they spring up
fauna will panicked
flowers will refuse to bloom
dismantling your safe place
wanting to consume

don’t stand idle
for the roots will wrap you up
reclaim you as their own
leech water from your brook

safety is a desert
dark, dry, and dull
no brooks
no flowers
no fauna
no place for you at all
Mary Frances Oct 2017
You keep
crawling back
under my skin,
within my thoughts,
and
inside my heart.
Dazed Dreaming Oct 2017
I blinked my tired eyes open...
One morning...
In September...
I felt instantly different...
Something that had been there with Me...
For so long...
Was gone...
Just like that...
That one morning in September...

I'll never forget that day...
The day I stopped loving you....

It was the first morning in years,
That my mind didn't immediately go to you...
It was the first morning...
I didn't feel that same dull ache deep... Within my heart...
It was the first morning l didn't cry...
Not even a single tear...
And it was on this morning that
I realized..
I finally let you go...


I suddenly just knew....
That I would never spend another night...
Comparing myself to the girl you left me for...
Over analyzing...
Sleep deprived..
Maybe even a little
Crazed...

Never again...
Would..
I..
Spend another day...
Looking...
Searching...
For something that didn't exsist...
No more hoping..
To find even a shred of evidence that you loved me...
Even if it was in the most tiniest of measures...

You know nothing of Heartbreak...
And how it brought me to my knees...
Worst fears realized...
I was nothing but a ghost...
Stuck in limbo...


I  hated you for a long *** time...

I remember...
Going back and forth...
Between my heart and mind...
Arguing over you having an ugly heart...
And no soul...

No soul,
Behind those beautiful blue eyes...
I didn't want to believe that...
About you...
Let alone let that be my last memory of you..

But what are you to do when someone leaves you in ruin?
What do you tell yourself?
What would you have me believe?
You left..
Nothing behind but grief...

I knew you didn't give a ****...
I know you still don't...
I know you feel some kind of validation in everything you've done...
And thats where we're...
Too entirely different people...
I could never do that to someone
I loved..

So..
You gave me no choice...
I let go when..
You forced..
Me..
To doubt everything we shared..
To question your feelings for me..
Cant you see?


To question...
The one person you once loved more than life itself....
It does something to you..
It's nothing shy of a hell...
I'd never wish on anyone...


It was the hardest battle...
I'd ever faced...
But I overcame it...

On that sweet September Morning...
I came alive again...
Because I let go...
Because...
I let you go...

Ive accepted you may have never loved me...
But I can't say the same..
So..
Before you even realize it..
I'll be gone...
And I want you to know that despite everything...
And no matter what you go through..
In life..
Without me...
If you ever one day in the far future.. find yourself..
Thinking about me..
On a cool summers day...
When the crickets begin to sing...
Know that you were loved indefinitely...
In the best way any person could ever be loved...
Even if that person...
Was simply
Just me...
Felt compelled to say goodbye...lol
Valerie Sep 2017
You were hell
and I still called it love.
olivia Aug 2017
when last mine eyes met yours
the roses in my belly didn't fall to my ****
and my tongue didn't tie itself up with the rope in the dark
and my hands didn't clam up with the sweat that slicked off your back
it's like I never saw you the first time

when last mine eye met yours
I invited a cordial embrace absent of complication
and my mouth flapped away with stories of a me who doesn't know you
and my hands stayed folded in my lap atop my crossed legs
and when you couldn't bring your eyes to meet mine
it was like I never even saw you the first time
Writeaboutlove
Brandon Jul 2017
{Set I: Brandon}
I have
What I have
And I am happy
I've lost
What I've lost
And I am
Still happy
Once you move on, the feeling is much better.
Moeshfiekah Jun 2017
She loved me even as I stopped loving her. Years later and still the same. So I had to text her and tell her , another had my heart and she broke all over again. I wanted her in my life still but not the way she wanted me in hers. With words I never wanted to say. My lips uttered coldly "you have to move on" as they left my lips I wanted to shout I didn't mean it. I want you in my life I want you here I want to see you. But I never did . So with her last goodbyes and her final words "I love you" that was all needed to be said. And I felt it all. I felt the love she had for me all these years all that was hidden under her mask and I looked at myself and a single tear fell . I then felt the pain,the hurt ,the heartbreak. All of which she had to carry along for so long.
So I turned in agony and switched off my phone , she had come and gone so fast but I deserve to feel what she felt years before.
This is about a girl who's ex girlfriend still loved her. She forget about her but never truly and one day she found her number but wanted to be friends but soon realized the ex was still in love so she didn't want to hurt her again because she already had someone . She told her ex to move on but in the end she felt all that was felt by the ex with simple words of "I love you"
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