I'm just a doll come to life
Only activated when people come to me
I am a blank canvas ready to be painted
By conversations and events of the day
I am a mindless soul wandering throughout life
Turning on when people need me or want me.
I am not an individual,merely stitches of multiples put together as one: ideas, personality, tendencies, not original but not cliche.
Who I am is pieces of different persons seen together in different colors and taste of personalities.
I am only made of others but none of myself personally. Each person is their own to be what they choose
But I am only a canvas a thought of their muse
I only self activate on the blue moon
For I am only made from recycled blues

You can't control it, that's just the deal
Sometimes you're the mouth, sometimes the meal
Fate does not care how you feel

Converging lines that do not meet
Even though we look and seek
We only find circles that do not close
It's just the way the story goes
We only ever see half a picture
We only see through our eye's stricture

If only our heart had eyes
Maybe then we'd see why
If we call someplace paradise
We condemn it to die
We can kiss it goodbye


So make the best of what you got
Don't get lost in the mayhem of your thoughts
You'll never find exactly what you sought
You must deal with what the fates have brought
Come what may, with your pants down don't get caught

Darkness covers my vision, making me fear my own actions.
The actions I can't control.
The action of me picking up a blade, only for the light to come back as my lover walks in.
The action of me screaming at my lover, only for the light to come back the next morning.
Who I am can change and it scares me.
I don't know what to do.
I can't control myself anymore.
I need the pain.
I need the blade.
I need the blood.
I can't survive the blackout...

We spoke today after ages
It felt like a part of me came back

Now we talk everyday
It feels like a bright sunny day

I miss his hands
He knows me, he understands

The way he makes me feel
The pain inside my heart will never heal

He’s something I really need
We miss each other, we both agreed

There are so many things I have no control over
It makes me feel like I’m not at all sober
I feel this way without a single drink
I can’t help but think

I want to see him, hold him, feel him
Run towards him and just stay there with him
Maybe I never want to leave
He’s my only belief

No one truly understands,
My demons commands,
That quiets my voice,
And gives me no choice,
That ruins the present,
With resentment,
That makes me sad,
And oh so mad,
Over reasons I do not know,
Because he doesn’t even show,
All he does is but control,
He plays each and every role,
Of that I hate myself for,
Straight down to my core,
When will I understand,
Where it is he stands,
Is he in my heart-my soul,
Will he turn it to coal,
Or is he in my brain-my mind,
Will I ever be able to find,
Where he is truly hidden,
So I can get rid of him.

No control
No control
my life is whirling out of control;
My life is spinning
and I'm not winning
are you sinning?
Can you spare
any fare
so that this mess
you may repair

Where am I?
Who are you?
This place is familiar
Yet unfamiliar at the same time

My body acts differently
The words I say are not mine
Who is controlling me?
This is not who I am

The walls are closing in
And I can’t breathe
I am not in control
I am no longer me.