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Mel L May 2018
I'm in a void,
Just floating in space,
No feeling,
No weight;
Nothing negative,
But also,
Nothing positive,
No frown,
On my face,
But also,
No smile,
No incident happening,
But also,
No fun having,
Even though,
The world around me,
Continues on,
Without me,
Barely noticing,
Or caring at all;
I feel
Like I must,
Shout out,
For anyone
To hear
My scream,
But it's muffled by
My own self,
Suffocating me,
From the inside out,
No longer being able to breath,
I scream,
But nobody hears,
Cause it's only in my head,
How could that be,
To me it's so easily,
To me,
I am drowning within myself,
In my sorrow,
That came from nowhere,
Existing from seemingly nothing,
The air quickly became water,
Here I am drowning,
And yet,
I'm still expected to breath,
So here I am,
Depression *****
Mel L May 2018
The angels are calling me,
they're calling my name,
wanting to hear me sing,
instead of scream,
wanting me to fly,
instead of drown,
they're calling to me,
but the voices in my head are louder,
telling me that I can't,
telling me that I'll never be good enough,
that that image I have in my head isn't me,
and that it could NEVER be!
The voice in my head is screaming out to be heard,
but does nothing,
but deafen ME!
cause no one else can hear,
or can there be?

The angels are always there,
watching over ever so patiently,
for the day that may never come,
that I'll do right by them,
that I'll muffle out that loud mouthed voice that's always inside of me,
but sadly I'll never be free,
cause that voice IS ME.

When will I realize that the angels believe in me,
especially when I don't believe in myself,
they're always there watching, praying and looking out for me,
even if I don't always acknowledge it...

So thank you,
from both of me.

-me & myself
Mel L Oct 2016
There is no point,
   there is no end,
Once begins,
   continues again,

There is no cure,
   no easy fix,
No easy way,
   to get rid,

Once it starts,
   never ends,
Not just once,
   but never again,

There is no way,
   to run from it,
No way to hide,
   no way to rid,

Nothing to do,
   no way to escape,
Once it comes,
   this doom-your fate.
Mel L Mar 2016
I've lost my mind
but no one will know,
cause I've got a mask
that let's nothing true show...
Mel L Feb 2016
The water rises,
as my nose dives in,
into this fear that's growing,
but yet not showing.
I soon will be drowning,
not coughing on water-
but yet choke on fear-
as I've awoke the fight or flight within-
that feels like the punishment of all my sins,
it seems to last forever,
wish upon this to another-
I would never,
for it is torture,
I know nothing more sure-
than how horrible it is to be stuck within yourself
in the midst of its own war,
I feel the end coming deep in my core.

And I-
will be the only casualty.
Anxiety is a *****. You're the only one who truly experiences the horrors when a panic attack happens, nobody truly sees or understands. It's a solo war against yourself in which you are the only casualty. But yet you somehow survive and then eventually go on to go through it all over again and again, day after day...
  Feb 2016 Mel L
Dhaye Margaux

I laid my body
On your top
Pressed against yours
To take a nap

Arms were wrapped
Around your chest
We had that moment
As our best

You searched and found
The finest gold
A gem only you
Can touch and hold

I offered like wine
My kisses so sweet
We learned to dance
In the same beat

You gave your soul
United with mine
Moans were poems
With perfect rhyme

Tears flowed from eyes
For a little while
The pleasure and pain
Still made me smile

And your sweat drops
On my smooth skin
Like perfect rain
That I have seen

I can't forget
That perfect night
We shared one love
One dream, one light

I'll sleep on top of
The perfect space
For you are my home
My safest place

Inspired by a romantic photo
Mel L Feb 2016
I can't control my brain,
it goes to extremes,
there is no controlling it,
idk if I was born with it broken
or if it just broke within the years,
all I know is;
that it'll never be able to get fixed,
there is nothing you could buy,
nothing you could say,
nothing you could possibly do,
you'll just have to endure it like me, or
I guess just decide to leave, but ultimately, the choice is up to you, just cause I've got to live with it,
doesn't mean you've got to...
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