I hope this new year will be truly amazing (for a change)
I hope I'll acheive the things I desire (for instance you)
I hope I'll make my parents proud
I hope I'll make myself proud
And I hope I'll be kind and loving towards everyone
Yet the voices in my head are screaming
How do you accomplish anything applicable in this state of mind?

Thank you.

While everyone else is partying,
Having fun with friends,
Dancing into the New Year,
I am at home
In my basement

Alone

you know i simply don't understand
all the hype about the clock and it's hands
that change from 11:59 to 12 o'clock
but not as much changes as i thought
i still want to lay in bed
and escape the monsters in my head
nothing really changes overnight
so it really isn't worth the hype

This will be the first time in a long time not ringing in the New Year with you. And what is a celebration if I don't turn to see you beside me? What does any of this past year matter if you won't be there in the future? I want to drive to your house and throw all your things onto your lawn, scream at you for what you've done. I want to drive to your house and kidnap you, take you away from all the dark things there. I want to drive to your house and profess my devotion and love and admiration and hear you once again, finally, say those three words back.
There are so many things which I desperately want.
But today is New Year's Eve.
And it will be the first New Year I haven't rung in with you in a long time.

rest in peace to the teens
who wore long sleeves all year round
so no one would notice what they have done
rest in peace to the teens who drank and drank
to blur out someones name
rest in peace to the teens who just lit one too many
cigarettes just to fit in
rest in peace to the teens who couldn't make it to 2015

A little less
Than a year ago
I picture you:
Your leg wrapped
Around my torso
And propped up
By my hand;
I have a purse,
a drink, and you
adorning my body
Hanging onto me
I am small
You are smaller
A cigarette
Dangles
From your
Left fingertips
Coffee and
Champagne
On your lips
We both wear crowns
Atop
Our seemingly
Stubborn smiles
Happiness
Will not
Relent
I have known
You
For so long
Now
Almost half
Our little lives
Tonight,
I am proud
Of you
It is New Years
You haven’t drank
Too much
You know
This year
Will be a good one
Enough
To tell me so
Enough
For me
To believe
In you
Again
Already
Making changes,
Setting promises
Nothing is the same
Since you
Came home
Two Augusts
Ago
Tonight,
Had never before
Fulfilled
Its cliché promises
But as of tomorrow
We have our chalkboard
Of rainbow colored erase marks
At midnight,
We get to Start
Anew

I think we’re all just honest missing pieces

shoved under the couch or chewed past recognition

we fill these flaw with tact and with sarcasm

with extremes and shouts and prayers

and kisses and each other