You may have been hurt a thousand times,
Or destroyed with WORDS as hot as FIRE,
You may be broken and shattered,
You may not know what else to do,
So you resort to becoming bitter with words,
Aiming at attacking the ones that got away with you
Did they break you or ****** YOU?
Did it throw you into pieces?
And now you want to burn them in anyway?
Why not sit, ponder and SEARCH,
Sit again and see,
As long as you are bitter and fighting back,
There will be no peace,
For there is more energy and stress exerted in fighting than forgiving.
Forgive and let go.
It will soothe you,
It will him too.
Forgive,
Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath
And let it go
For it burdens your heart
And soon will make you collapse.

it feels like a pat on the back when we talk
it doesn't feel like 'I love you but I'm scared to tell you' anymore.
it doesn't feel like 'I like her but I love you'
it feels like 'I scared myself into not loving you'
it doesn't feel like 'I'm taking some time so I can become the person who deserves to love you'
it feels like nothing.

The train of memories come to me
It was you who broke my heart into pieces
now there is no space for you anymore
It's just about the dark past,that already fade away
Now I'll pick the light up

Today was the day I found reasoning.  
Reasons to all the madness you've bestowed me.  
It was true, the spark was not there anymore.  
But the deceitful lies should have been saved for yourself.  
I didn't need false hope to be okay with you again.  
A friendship would have sufficed.  
But you're so selfish that you thought you wanted more.  
Instead you've left me here again.  
Guessing why I wasn't good enough this time.  
The truth is the complete opposite though.  
Were you good enough for me?
After all these years of self-improvement on my part.. You're still the same.  
You don't know what you want, as far as love goes.  
You will never be satisfied if you're always expecting something from nothing.  
Love can't be forced, I understand that..
But a friendship after so many years of being close,
That would have been ideal.  
You wanted the whole thing.  
You wanted the comfort, the love.
You wanted all of these things from someone who was trying desperately to love themselves.
Someone who didn't even feel comfort in their own skin.
Boy oh boy did you let your colors shine this time.  
It's true, I am very devestated.. Losing you was hard for me.
Realizing that I was putting you on a pedestal where you didn't belong, is the worst part.  
Realizing that I have wasted my time and love on something, never to be appreciated, kills me.
But God works in the most beautiful ways.  
I prayed for him to show me who you really were, because of my doubts.
He answered my prayers the day you called me and said you couldn't do it anymore.  
I know it was her, the reason you left me.. the one that you believe got away...
But just wait and see, one day that girl will be me

One night I can't sleep
I kept scrolling on my feed.
Then someone shared "Happy Move On Day"
Does that thing exist?
But I realized it really could be a sign.
Move on and be happy.
Happy Move On Day. Yay.

Grace Sparks

It's time to untangle
All of the doubts that keep me down
It's time to let go of the pain, the past
All that makes me cry
It's time to venture out
To where I'll grow and learn to soar

Surely I won't miss out
All that you've planned, the best for me
I'm singing out loud, the songs of faith
Let it resound
Sunrise is calling out, “The night has gone
It’s the end of fear!”

En-route to win
Swinging through the wind
In the freedom of Christ my King

Your loving grace sparks
Like a thousand northern lights
So I won't be lost
When you are my guide
(Jesus, you are my guide)

Fuelled by Your perfect love
I’m moving up, moving up
Burden-free and ready to take off
I'm rising up, rising up

"When it is painful both ways and you cannot move.

Bones weakened by the presence, mind caught up by the thought of you.

Lips asking what just happened and ears that got numb.

Trying to cope up with this overwhelming feeling and my throbbing heart."

_____


"Tears that never got wiped and lips that can't utter.

Body that won't caress and hands that cannot hold.

That's all that is left to give and to show.

As I stare at you and I gaze once  more.

Stepping forward or backward...

Either way it just hurts even more."

-- m e

"Should I hold on, or let you be?"

They said, think about it
One last time
I said, I've had enough
I have moved on

Your eyes can't lie
To say that you have moved on
is a bit exaggerated
They said

I realized
I've been livin
in a big chunk of denial
all this time

I need closure
we need to talk
This time, you must participate
Cause it turns out that
Making peace with myself
Just wasn't enough

So
Here we go again

one.last.time
I promise **

My life moves like a bullet train and
I cannot anchor my heart and thoughts at your station.
Not anymore.
You no longer provide comfort, love, patience and care;
my basic needs.
I will be okay because all railways lead to something
and something is better than nothing.
I suppose my fingers should no longer outline the love and hate I hold for you.
And I suppose I have to stop writing about you now, or forever, stay stuck in this maze without you "