I had to meet you to learn to apreciate myself
I had to meet you to see how it feels to be loved,
I had to meet you to see how it feels to be truly in love,
I had to meet you to understand what keeps me away from being myself,
I had to meet you to see how easy it is to lose yourself if you let them to put a spell on you,
I had to meet you to see what a huge mistake is to trust someone's words,
I had to meet you to understand how easy it is for others to pretend being in love
I had to meet you to accept myself,
And lose myself once you've gone.

Wait! Is that plagiarism? I need a new title.

Fear created the chains which bound me into silence.
No one listened, they only peered.
With blackness around me, I had no guidance.
I was alone and I disappeared.

In despair, there was only time for reflections.
Deep within myself, I had to admit:
Including my imperfections,
Was I still misfit?

Slowly and silently, I found my voice.
In reality, I took my place.
Rejoice!
No longer, am I a disgrace.

I leave the shackles behind me.
Find the light from within.
Swimming up from the deep black sea,
I reach the surface. And I am forgiven of all deadly sin.

Jimmy Page rips into his guitar as I rip into some nachos,
Covered with some real toxic-spicy **** I accidentally created in the kitchen,
And suddenly Black Dog becomes an anthem to my agony.

The habanero peppers dig hooks in as the serannos and the jalapenos begin going to work,
Hitting me with staccato body blows,
Pausing but for a moment before laying in again.

It's as if the very air itself is aflame,
The sriracha's heat sears my throat and lungs,
With the cayenne peppers charring my stomach.

My eyes water,
I want to wail like Plant at the moment,
As sweat begins to gather on my brow,
The sickly sweet stink of the apple cider vinegar used laces the air and stings the nose,
****** hair practically gets singed as it passes.

Page let's loose a riff with his instrument that imitates my heartbeat,
As the heat finally grows too high.

I reach for my only lifeline,
Something almost as terrible as the devil's ketchup itself.

I take the mason jar and take a swig,
And another fire snuffs out the one currently raging in my esophagus and brain.

My breath fast,
Blinking hard and quick,
As the song fades along with a bit of my happiness at creating something so wicked,
As I grab another chip...

I’ve always been told that I have a nice nose,
So Andrew’s kind words graced my back
As the rays of light from the sun
Those rays so warming, free me each morning from the

Quivering fingers inside your throat choking
Moist clammy tongue caressing your neck
Tearing your toes apart
That Priest darkness always gifts

Sweetly, softly, kindly
From behind,
To me

In my own
Quickening of heart shaking of limbs screaming silenced search of eyes

Ive overlooked one thing

The silly sleepy fluffy tail of my best friend
And my folly in footwork leaves him whimpering
And me begging forgiveness prostrated

Lady luck seemed to left me,
As I started to roll the dice.
I wanted to cheat,
And never say "goodbye."
I want to spend this eternal pleasure,
Of casting myself into isolation,
In this dark, humid, rotten room.
Sitting and embracing the cold body,
With innocence controlled like a marionette.
Strings were the darkness,
Puppet is the soul.
The forger is my mind,
Often forgetting to stitch the holes.
In this twisted poem you'll get lost,
By playing with the unknown.
A crumbling facade.
You might wonder what is the mistake?
Think again.
If it's not the forger,
Then it is the reader.

If this is a safe space, then let me speak honestly for a moment

Because I’ve been wanting to disappear, and I’m trying to decide if I should vanish all at once or if I could let myself slowly start to fade away.
Taking my time with the goodbyes, as I’m hugging family members I’m watching my finger tips regress to their first knuckle joints behind their backs.

Going to shake an old friends hand and realizing I’m only able to offer them a short section of my forearm.  They try not to be rude about it, exchanging nice to see you’s and hope you’ve been wells.

Once I couldn’t see my arms anymore and my legs began to fade I finally felt fearful and maybe even regret..
I wanted to come see you before it happened for good, before there was nothing left to see. I can feel you looking for the parts of me that should be there, no hands to hold, no arms to hug you, my torso was starting to slim and slip away like grains of sand through an hour glass.

I felt my breath tighten, you don’t expect to feel your last pieces fading but this was hurting much more than I ever thought it would and I couldn’t let you see me like that so I ran, and I ran far.

Just as I feel like I’m drifting off I hear you call for me and I realize this was a mistake and that I never was meant to disappear or fade away, I was never meant to say good byes, at least not so soon, maybe not now and maybe not ever.

Turns out vanishing all at once always was an acquired taste and I had no pallet for it, there are no second thoughts. At least I’ve began to be okay with the process, the gradual fading has brought me comfort, but I could never leave here.. At least not without saying, goodbye.