This quest for love… vanity
Trying for acceptance… vanity
Expecting fair treatment… vanity
Longing for friendship… vanity

Misery is the only constant I have
Death and misery and my vanity

I used to flank my PE lessons;
It’s bad, I know; there is no blessing,
No pray, no psalm for such a sin
And all the accusations merged in din
Of rasping metal grinding of a board
Which surface’s being mangle with a chalk;
Shall I this sound recall, and, Lord, oh my;
I’m almost ready all my principles belie
And drop upon my knees in front of a Coach,
For him to smack me as a wretched roach
And all my intestines present
And drop them as a ******* on cement
For all the varmints of a world
The death of their own kin behold;
For them to be Edification
Of all the truancy’s damnation

to live day by day
watching the clock tick away,

what is it all for?
yet, here i am.

My feet weren’t made for running
There’s no escape from my self made troubles

But this face can always take a few more punches
They blend in with all my other scars

If only it was different…
If only we were a different us

Could we be happy then?
Or maybe misery will still rest on us like a bird

do you know the loneliness that resides within?
do you see the sadness tainting my gin?
do you feel the blackness of my sin?
would you let their darkened sorrow win?

of course you wouldn’t; you’re a warrior—
strong and tall in the face of adversity.
everything happens for a reason, you say,
and you believe in god.

all i want right now
is to be like you.
all i want right now
is to think like you.
all i want right now
is to be strong like you.

but, instead, i crumble.
i fall to my knees and mumble.
my thoughts run wild and i tumble
into the bowels of thunder that rumbles.

just when i want to get better
the thoughts come back to get me.

and now i am trapped
and i kiss Misery’s feet.

Frightful and paranoid
The fear begins to set in
But then I remember
There is no one outside
There is nothing within.

and come with me, baby
we will fade into obscurity.
the fog swirls with us
as we dance away from the sun

there is nothing more romantic
than death on a sunday night
i long to be right
to win a fight

i am trapped in a limbo
waiting, expecting
only to be put down
like a miserable puppy buried in the ground.

kiss me quickly
for our time leaves soon
and before you know it, it’s noon
and before you know it, you see the moon

monday morning and misery
but this is no regular apathy
this is a different kind, more gloomy
the sadness in my soul is more roomy

tell me, my lover
why must we live?
why must we suffer?



i have nothing more to give

when the doctor tested my reflexes
he broke both of my knees
so now i walk at a crawl
and i struggle to start again