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yra Jan 2020
Regretting why I left,
Feeling sorry of what I missed.
Chances that I blew,
Now, I feel so blue.
Second chance they say,
But where art they?
Oh Misery!
Has been my company.
yra Jan 2020
imprisoned from my past
every day feels like my last
bleeding from holding tight
trying to win this fight

danger has been my company
sleeping to a bed full of misery
dreaming on how to end this mistery
death is what I fancy
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2020
It really is a crazy world
I see it every day
No matter where I run to
I cannot get away

Right is not right
Wrong is not wrong
Life is too short
Yet the nights seem so long

Steadily fighting for breath
Choking on pouring rain
Frustrated with no way to deal
Bottling up sorrow and pain

I hide behind a careful mask
But its starting to wear thin
Revealing the frown underneath
The monster deep within

Barely recognize myself
Changed so many parts around
Most days it's all I can do
To not crumple to the ground

Every time I dare to leak a hope
It gets slashed out of the sky
After so many disappointments
I don't even try

I take the struggle for what it is
Forgive and then move on
And wait for happiness to arrive
Knowing it's too far gone

The wicked world keeps spinning
Turning in spite of its weight
I try not to give up on love
Its challenging when there's so much hate

Bitter but not yet beaten
Though I'm bent in a few places
Trying to write a better ending
Fill in the rest of the blank spaces

Though my eyes know endless misery
My heart continues beating still
Life may never get easier
But who knows? Maybe it will
Feedback?
Cerasium Feb 2020
With each passing day
The light inside me dies
Surrounding me in eternal darkness
And snuffing out any form of happiness

I beg and I plead for relief
But it never comes
It only gets worse
And I can’t take it anymore

I love him with every fiber of my being
Yet nothing I say or do matters
It’s like he doesn’t care anymore
And I’m tired of this pain

I try and I try
To hide all of it
From his gaze
But I can’t hide forever

He says he still cares for me a lot
But honestly with his actions
It speaks the opposite
I just wish he would speak the truth

Speak from your heart
Don’t hide anything
Let it all out
Just like I have done

Lay your very soul
Upon the table bare
So we can finally understand
One another’s feelings

I fear that I don’t have much left
My will is slowly fading
I’ve already reverted back to self harm
Soon it will start to get worse

My heart will start to decay
Turning off all care for life
I will constantly be fighting
My darkest of thoughts

Thoughts that I haven’t had
Since I was a teenager
Thoughts that I could suppress
Just by looking at him

Seeing his dorky grin
The smell of his skin
The gentleness of his touch
The love in his eyes

These things made me so happy
That I couldn’t think like that
I didn’t want to think like that
All I cared about was being with him

Now I have mixed feelings
Feelings of betrayal and fear
Of longing and anger
Of love and regret

I know he won’t talk
Cause every time we try
It just makes it works
Cause he won’t say anything

I ask if things will be okay
I ask if I will ever be with him again
But all he says is give it time
And I see no love in his eyes

I see no more longing
No more want
No more pleading
Just vacant eyes staring back

I start to ponder
If I was ever good enough
If I will ever make it through this
Will I ever be happy again

But with how things are going
I doubt I will ever be happy
My heart is in so much pain
I feel like I’m dying

And it’s only getting worse
With each passing day
So I beg of you
Just talk to me one last time

Let everything out
Don’t hold back
There is so much to say
That you try and hide
Cerasium Feb 2020
I can no longer breathe
The air which kept me alive
Is now but carbon dioxide
Burning my lungs to ash

I fear what is to come
I fear what has happened
I fear what is happening
But most of all I fear not having you

My state of mind has gotten so bad
That the simple task of eating
Is making me sick
I don’t know how much longer I can go on

My heart maybe stone now
But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything
The pain that was there already
Is trapped inside

It’s spiraling out of control
Pushing me to the verge of destruction
The meds I take are no longer working
And I fear going to sleep

For when I try
I can’t sleep for long
I wake a few moments later
Terrified for my life

These night terrors are getting worse
And it’s so hard to look past them
There’s darkness all around
Destroying me from inside out

Ever slowly the winds do change
I become numb to everything
Hoping for a change
For you to return

But honestly I feel
That I am holding on
To a pipe dream
That will never come true

My heart cries out
My soul bleeds for you
It feels like I will die
From just one more *****

I hope for you to see
The damage that has been done
So maybe you will understand
What I’m going through

So take the time to listen
Don’t interrupt or run
Cause in order for me to get through this
I have to be honest with you
Cerasium Feb 2020
Some people view internal pain as a joke
But what they don't realize is if left unchecked
That pain can become external and hurt even worse
Like right now I feel like I'm having a stroke

Though I know it's nothing that serious
It hurts just the same
Feeling the numbness and burning
All around my heart

Gripping it so tightly
That my lungs start to collapse
My breathing begins to hasten
As my chest compacts within

Clawing at my chest
I begin to rip skin
Hoping that the pain
Will soon end

But sadly it doesn't
And I start to panic
Grabbing the closest sharp object
And slicing across my wrists

The pain subsides for a time
As the blood trickles down my arms
Feeling the sting as the air brushes the wounds
Causes a temporary fix to the sorrow I feel

Though I know it's not a good thing to do
I can't do anything else
Cause I made a promise to him
That he would never come home to a dead body

So I sit here staring at the crimson lines
Tears filling up my eyes
As the fog over
Hoping for time to rewind
thepoeticwit Jan 2020
Big brother
He wanders on his own
In the jungle
No one to call his own

But he has a heart full of love to give
"Is there anyone for me to love?"
He wonders
So he sets out on an adventure

He climbed hills and
marched through valleys
Gentle as he can be
He picks up the little squirrels
fallen from the tree

He stops for a while
and lets birds rest on his back
from all their flying and tweeting.

He looks out for the cubs
and stands guard for their protection
And graces with his presence
those in need of affection

And still this grizzly bear
moves forward on his own
Eats alone, sleeps alone.
Sometimes he's lonely.

But he looks up to see the Sun
smiling down on him
and gives him warmth and
a bright shine on his
glorious brown coat

And though a hunter's spear
may strike through his heart
already broken
these words of love pours out
onto the ground
for nobody to call his own
and yet still to love

"Brother bear cares"
A story of unrequited love.
Iggy Chuck Jan 2020
We wander
through the sleeping town,
through its glory and its misery

The night is ours
and only she knows
the words of passion
that spill from our mouths

What a beautiful feeling
knowing that neither the moon
nor the stars
are going to tell on us

Because we belong in the night
and she belongs to us.
Nishi Jan 2020
The love i always dreamt of
Was always with me
We were so playful like kids
Regardless of any boundaries
We seemed to be the perfect couple
And you seemed to be my man

A storm came up
Which made all messed up
And you were fed up
Your feelings for me is now changed

Still im thinking
What i did wrong
Still u are ghosting me
I don't know why

Lovable memories are still haunting
Painful and unbearable
Confused with reality
Eventhough everything is clear

I see you are with someone else
But still i don't admit it
Deep inside my heart i know
How much we loved back then
Love is so deep and hard to understand
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