She keeps this beast
Locked inside,
Feeding it wine
To settle it down.
When you look at her,
She looks like she has it
All together.
But nobody really knows
What it's like.
To stay up half the night,
Clawed from the inside out.
It terrifies her.
Most days she doesn't say a word
And keeps to herself.
To the one she loves,
If she reveals those pieces
Of herself,
Will you stay? Will you go?
Like everything else that
She’s lost.
She drinks to keep herself at peace,
To keep the beast
from growling too loud.
And for a minute, she forgets about
Those broken pieces that didn’t
Heal quite right.
That it's okay to breathe.
Even if it's for a minute.
If you’re reading this,
She’s afraid
To let you in.
That once you’re in,
You’ll smell those rotten parts
That hide behind her eyes,
Or that you’ll hear the toenails screech
Of the beast she keeps subdued,
That you’ll realize it’s not
A beast at all.
It’s the part of her that realizes
The possibility that you cannot
Love her, without loving the beast.
Those not so good pieces of herself.
Those frazzled insecure pieces
That despite everything she cannot
Control.
And in the end,
She’ll regret it all if you turn around
And walk away.
No matter how strong the cage.
One of those bars loosens
Everytime she stares at you
