building up
want you
want me
scared
fear
want
desire
i don't get it
what is happening
hold my hand
and here we stand
taking on this land
so much love to be had
so much happiness that i am always glad
not enough sorrow to make you mad
no way our love will go bad
once in a while we are sad
you are lace-clad
with each layer you add
mindlessness will not stand
tie your hair back with a purple band
are you concealing yourself from this lucky young man?
and i thought i had you...


****.

Perhaps I’ll never love
The way I read books
That all consuming
Maddening
“You are my life now”
Kind of true love

Maybe I’ll never fall
The way I listen to music
The way you become
So lost in a song
You feel what you hear
You believe without seeing

Sometimes it’s a steady ticking
Constantly worrying
Never actually caring
“You’re young you’ll find someone”
Plus every other versions of this saying

Other times it’s a storm
This tsunami of doubt washing out
Every last bit of hope
Like water, instead of making it float
It’s sinking the boat
If you’re never really lucky generally
When it comes to love
Why the flippity flop would you be?

I walked into a silent house
peaceful, though it seemed
The echoes of my memories
Continue, how they scream

My thoughts had taken over
Strengthening the demons of my past
They fought for years to own my soul
This battle was my last

I removed the plastic cap
Removed the shiny foil
I turned the bottle upside down
And said goodbye to sorrow

One time I showed up to a bar
took all my layers off and decided to give it a try
I let loose and felt free and drowned my sorrows in dainty drinks and rap music
Feeling like a bomb shell ready to blow
I let the world get under my skin and the beat roll into my veins as I became the girl everyone wants to meet
that everyone wants to talk to
I became the girl of my dreams
swirling in drinks with tiny straws and orange juice
dancing alone but felt like the whole room was with me
time flew by
until I left and became the same old girl who walked into a bar just to give it a try

Luck she smokes
coming out in clouds spreading all over
violent tracks grey noises breaking
dreams in sleep
slow waves
blending to blues when the sun is coming
out
breathing in back volumes of screaming alarms
ocean salt crunches in her morning bones
last time she was a mermaid
past life she was a Fortune
spinning a thread
sewing her dress
spinning later in dance
stranger creatures downstairs look great
finally staring at the spring sun
through fingers it burns
seems for luck
like a candle play of the past evening
reaching heat on the highest spot on the top
where she finds lucky solution
in the underworld kingdom watered with five wholesome oceans
room covered with vital rose blossoms
to the dusty pink noise
Fortuna goddess is dancing on her tip toes