Wasting my life.
Cause my time is so precious, ha!

Walking through my room,
the stench actually slows progress.
You feel it on your skin,
it thickens the air, increases drag.

They squirm on the floor.
I wipe them off my hands and stomach.

They might have had dreams, aspirations.
How ridiculous they’re just ejaculations.
I posses a value for life. But my children here.
I don’t feel anything for them, or without them.

Time ***** by.
Instinct, greed and something else win again.

This addiction doesn’t leave track marks,
***** spoons, or empty lighters.
But it does leave a stench, and little time.
It’s a **** I can’t get rid of. Literally.
It’s attached to me, I use it everyday in one way.

But **** it.
Whoops, phrasing...

I mean ***** it, school is in like 6 hours.
I feel relieved in one way. Now I have it onboard.
A nice big hit, of dopamine. Instantly.

Have you ever woken up and felt like you just don't belong
So you lie there for an hour trying to convince yourself to stay strong
And all a long
You've had a song
Stuck in your mind and it's uncanny
How it reminds you of that one time when you thought that you were happy?

I think it's more bitter than sweet now
This food for thought is slightly rotten
Altered memories but never quite forgotten

I never did get over it
I never really let go
It's hard when you beat yourself up over things you can't control
Then whip yourself for every mistake and **** up you've ever made

For everything that you loved

And then destroyed

And then complained

Like you didn't help create a connection from and edge on to a ridge
And then got so scared that you just burned another bridge?
While you were standing in the middle, high up on your cloud
Your dreams are broken and you're falling to the ground
Let's hear the sound
Then watch a billion butterflies
Drag my body from my feet and take my corpse in to the sky

I'm a loser
no need to scream it at me
I've always known

People called me
LOSER,
Actually they mispronounced
WINNER!!

~your smiling queen :)