You said you would forget me—
like restless waves upon the sea,
crashing in the eyes.
You said—
in the city of love, now turned to ashes,
you fear to walk again,
lest one spark
burn your heart once more.

You fear—
oh, how deeply you fear—
not man,
but the shadow of man.
A small man, a small life—
is it light behind the shadow,
or shadow behind the light?

Simple words falter upon the lips—
what I wish to say,
what I end up saying.

You said: Do not return.
In the heavy black monsoon of sorrow,
you walked away.
But will your rain-soaked grief
ever fall again, Beloved?

Today I am like a star, veiled in clouds—
dimmed, lost to myself.
A wandering soul,
burning with the desire
to exist
within your existence.

And yet—
I will sit and wait
on the riverbank of life.
If you wish,
you may return once more,
sailing across in the boat of longing.

the place where i am is kinder than that of outside.

here, it has no shade of light—where i cannot be seen naked with all these wounds and bruises, all these incarnadine lines in both my wrists, thighs, and all that there is that became my canvas to paint away the heaviness in my chest out of crimson patches.

here, it smothers the gray smoke my skin excretes—hiding the rousing fume of my melting and clawed body.

here, i don't have to peel off my skin to expose all the decaying layers under it—stretched throughout my forlorn body i've been hiding behind poem bandages.

here, i don't have to fold myself to hide the most disgusted fragments of me—my body and bones perfectly fit in the soil delineated by the chrysanthemum flowers—waiting to be buried.

sometimes being here made me want not to be saved and let my body soaked in too much dark euphemism to decompose. besides, any place outside here that has light only unveil all of my deformities.

any place outside here is tormenting.
any place outside here is cruel.
any place outside here is a curse.

darling, any place outside here
makes me despise myself more
and just want to disappear.

...There is no element, in existence,
equal, to me,
with the force,
and polarity, of you.

Take me...take me, further in.

I will not,
I could not...ever, resist you.

My will, is hammered carbon;
yet, this contract, of the soul...
it is ironclad.
Draw me,
into the tensity,
of your unbroken field.

Does your ghost, hover
like magnetite,
at the northernmost point,
of its own compass needle?

Does your shadow, dwell
in its arrowhead shape?
Does your heart, steel,
its directional pull?

I cannot pass you by,
but to be drawn,
into the divine gravity,
of your embrace.

Sweet...so sweetly,
do you hold fast, to me.

My lips, shudder,

tremulous,
with an irrepressible urge

to glue themselves
to the nectarine sweetness,
of sunbaked flesh.

Take me...take me, further in.

Leech me, of resistance.
Break me, of my defenses.
Shatter this separation,
that pulses fiercely, between us,

and pin me, to the core, of you.
Keep me, always...
yours, alone;
yours forever...

and worlds, may end,
castles, may rubble.
Entire civilizations,
may fall, to ancient ash,

Before these lips,
could ever dream,
of leaving, you.

Shall I ever see

you again? I'll wait for you --


in rain and in sun.