She sat beside me and turned to me
Said there should be one day
A place for thee
House full of secrets and lovely books
Wine spread all around
Might have an artsy looks
I listened quietly, hung on each her word
Sparks came to my eyes
"I wish I knew it would,"

I leaned on my back
And went on myself -
Where I would sing every night
To my beloved old man
To make him sigh
For how long and touching
Was our life
In the meantime split into both
But then once a lifetime
United though

I've always been
the impatient kind,
but for you,
I'd wait a lifetime.

Early on
My T.V. was controlled
By my mother and older sister
Because of this
I have an immunity
To awful television

Americas Next Top Whatever
Growing up Whatever
The Housewives of Wherever
All the spinoffs
All the three week
Episodic backstory
Specials

Everything

I have found this taste in T.V.
Is engrained in most girls and women
Not all of them mind you
But most

From all of the
Nonsensical story lines
Wooden and awkward acting
Scripted life tragedies
Artificially inseminated arguments
Pointless and pedantic drama
Lifetime movies stick out

They are their own special breed
Because of this
They are beautiful
And I enjoy them immensely

So many meaningless sub plots
Badly framed shots
Ridiculous morals
Awfully choreographed action sequences
That have nothing to do
With the movie at all

In this way
They are their  
Own type of pure

I have no shame
Besides
There is no where else
That I can watch an hour and a half
Of a police woman
Being hunted by her surrogate
Who was her best friend
(Before she psychotically fell in love with
The police woman's husband)
While the police woman is
Haunted by the ghost of her
Dead mother who
Gives her advice
From beyond the grave

Finally
With the help of the ghost mother
The police woman
And her misogynistic male partner
(Who is no longer a misogynist
Because she is such a **** fine cop)
Corner the surrogate
Who now has an assault rifle
And they end up having to blow her
Away
Emptying their guns
As she yells out and spins
Too many times into some faceless
Mansion's swimming pool
Ending with a slow motion splash
And no charges pressed anywhere
On anyone

All of this
Played by the up and coming
Talent of yesteryear
And the same six
Recycled actors
Who butcher their lines and roles
So artistically
That tense and awful moments
Make me convulse with laughter

It is surreal
And totally worth the guilt
I feel for enjoying such
Rancidly composed filth

Sigh. Not nice in Nice.

We live in a lifetime
that fears not dying from
illness or old age, but instead
from terror attacks.

A lifetime governed by fear.
What kind of life is that?

We live in a lifetime
that dying from the inevitable,
that dying from the formidable,
is a path we hope for.

A lifetime forced to fear.
What kind of life is that?

We live in a lifetime
that is continuously reminded of death
that stays shut up
that hobbies in fear
that losses dreams
that dreads.

What kind of life is that?
And seldom do we focus on what it is to live
And maybe it's beginning to look unavoidable?
Even still, sigh, I will continue to fight the fear.

Why am I still begging for you to stay
When all of a sudden you turned away
Isn't my love enough for me to win you back
Would you please come back and learn to sort of unpack

Is it too late to unwind things up for a little bit?
I know you think I'm dumb for pushing myself to fit
But I can't help myself for swallowing my pride because of my love
Maybe, just maybe, someday I will let all my feelings go like a dove

When that day finally comes don't you even dare to come back
On that day I won't let my feelings to be under attack
I'm so sick of pleasing you to be mine all over again
Cause all that nonsense has put me in, was to lose while you gain

Sure I can not escape this little fears in me
But it won't hinder me to whom I wanted to be
It may be dangerous but I don't bother
As long as I'm with you it feels like no other

It takes time, but I need to have courage
Won't let anyone to take me on a cage
I want to be free, free from someone I used to be
In order to do that I must open my eyes to see

Make decisions for myself and do the right thing
On that way I can proudly say that I'm something
Not everything is bad to do, it'll only be bad once you forget what is right
Do everything you want, but avoid everything that is bad on every eye sight

Nothing compares to you
You love me so true
Through ups and downs
You never fail me,
You never fail me to;
Make me smile
To dry up my soaking eyes
To care much
To love me.

To love me,
Beyond what I asked for.
You love me dearly
A never ending affection towards me
A thirst for my heart and soul.

You love me
Not just by my puffy cheeks
Not just by how I hold a pen
Not just by how I move.

You love me sincerely
Because I don't need to pretend to be someone else
Because I am being me
Because you just love me.