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Araoluwa Jacob Apr 2018
Lately, I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
How I can't control the water that rolls down my eyes like a waterfall.
It's meant to flow when I'm sad,
It's meant to assist me when I'm sober.
It does the opposite,
It makes me feel no remorse.
It makes me feel powerful.
Sometimes, I question it,
"Why have thee forsaken me when I need thee?"
it still does not reply.
I feel powerless over it.
it has more control.
One day, I stayed in the darkness.
my eyes were closed.
I was trying to blind myself from reality.
I was trying to create a world full of my own fantasies.
But it didn't work out well.
Tears crept in from behind,
they woke me up.
I was so close to escaping but they brought me back.
I tried to hold them in but they came faster than I ever imagined.
They sneaked in through a Trojan horse.
An unforeseen enemy.
They made me feel vulnerable.
I didn't need them but they came.
I'm sure they laughed because of the victory,
I cried because of my pain.
at a period in time, i could not control my tears. and whenever i felt remorse, they was no tears to express it.
Genesis Hawley May 2016
Fear

It runs through me
I don’t understand it
But it makes me scramble
Makes me scream

So many things to fear
Enough to make me cry
What if they get divorced?
What if they never forgive me?
What if they find out?
What if you change your mind?
What if I lose you?
And then lose them?

It could be crippling
It could get control
It could drive me
It could cut me
It could **** me

But will it?
Will I let it?

Each day I make a choice
I have control
It will not win
It will not cut me
It will not ******* me
I have strength
I have hope
My life is my own
That’s right
It’s your turn to run
It’s your turn to flee
I control you
I will live
I won’t hold back

It is better to take a risk
To love,
To hope,
To dream,
To dance,
It’s better to take a risk
Than never try at all
Fear is small
I am rich in soul
And powerful in mind.

This life is mine.

Fear.
Sky Mar 2016
With no rhyme or reason
I suddenly feel
furious and angry and frustrated and enraged
This is a time when my emotions
will destroy everything in my path
if left uncaged
It is a time when
I feel like a wrecking ball;
No, not the Miley Cyrus song-
A real wrecking ball to tear down the walls
Break through it all
Screams echoing down the hall
To fall on nonexistent ears
This is a time when I just want to
scream and cry and scream and cry,
and then cry and scream again
But my screams went silent long ago
And my tears just don’t fall
Crystalline in the lamplight
And maybe that’s why
Once upon a time
Blood stained the grimy bathtub floor
Dripping from the chasms that I opened
on my arms and legs and hips
Bottomless holes to set my demons free
Stop the screaming
The blood flowed the way the tears would not
Clean and strong, keep flowing on
Not afraid to leak past the surface of my skin
But blood is not an option anymore
A promise made, broken, made fresh again
I will not break my promise again
And I just wish that the tears would flow
clear and clean, emptying me
But I’m afraid to cry, splotchy red face
embarrassing me
Someone once told me
that I am strong
because I was brave enough to just go on
But bottled-up emotions and blood in the bathub isn’t strong
And I feel like an old Linkin Park song
So someone just tell me what the **** is wrong with me
‘Cause everytime I try to figure it out, I’m wrong
Older faces, wiser than me
tell me that nothing right now will last permanently
But anxiety like this, crippling heartbeat,
That doesn’t just go away
And I think the only reason I’m here today
is fear and true love;
Hope saved me so I may one day see
Sunlight on my child’s face, lighting up green eyes, my eyes
But I have to survive the hardest part first
and this is just the beginning
Fear pinning me down won’t let me move on
But love keeps me strong so I can still live on
But the darkness keeps nipping at my heels, so I run on
And sunlight brightens my scars.
Another emotional one...my emotions have been all over the place the past couple of days...and I’m amazed I haven’t had a panic attack yet this week. My anxiety right now is sky-high, and depression is tearing up my mind so that I don’t even know what to think or feel anymore. I feel like the only rock I have to cling to right now is my boyfriend, and maybe my sister. Even the rock of my family has been covered by the stream I’m trying not to drown in.
Even though I am starting to open up more about my emotions, it’s still hard, and I’m still not saying everything, still not letting it all out...except for in my poems. My poetry is my only truth, my only real release.
I just want to take a moment thank my readers and followers for taking a couple seconds out of your daily life to read my poems, and to repost or leave a comment for me. You’re all awesome, and I couldn’t be happier for my 81 followers. :) It always brightens my day to see one of my poems trend, or to see good feedback, see a new follower, or even to see just a single like on a poem. So thank you all, you rock! It’s with the support of all of my readers that I’ll keep writing ‘till the end of my days, which will most likely be in 70 years or so. Yep, 70 more years of Sky. :) Look for me on those book covers, people. I’ll be there one day. :)
Awesome Annie Feb 2015
Exhausted isn't the correct word, as it's more of mind and soul. I bounced to many reality checks, it must've taken a toll.

I couldn't keep on trudging through dreams, while sitting before the hallows. Wasting wishes on nonsense things, while they leave me at the gallows.

I've hung my head in defeat, so many times before. But I'm at that twisted point in life, where I can't take much more.

Shadows follow me where I may go, voices so sinister and wicked. We ***** our fingers on spinning wheels, ignoring what was long ago predicted.

Backwards bones of forgotten men, lay in disarray. All because life's a *****, and she wants to make you pay.
Awesome Annie Aug 2014
Its nothing I can say, only something I can feel. If only I could wake up and know it isn't real.

I lost it, through my fingers let it slip. Heard and felt it in my heart as it broke away and ripped.

Grief can never be a comfort, as time goes ticking fast. But I know for people like me, happiness doesn't last.

I sit and wait, for this test in life just to finally end. But we know from past lessons learned, that sorrow has no friend.

— The End —