I was a kid when I looked up at the sky
I was a kid when I pointed my finger at that star
I was a kid when I made that solemn vow that night
I was just a little kid with a big dream
A small body with a huge energy
I was innocent but my eyes were a mystery
All that was flashing through my mind was success
I was feeling a twinge of envy for those TV superstars
I was praying to god help me confess
Until that day when courage filled my heart
And my lips finally whispered my plan
Mama, I do remember that look in your eyes,
That surge of anxiety you felt,
That lack of confidence you had in me,
Those questions written on your face,
Would I be able to survive?
Would I make it alive?
Papa, I still think about what you wanted me to be,
An open-minded child with a brighter destiny,
You were standing still like a silent hill,
It smashed my hope but it didn’t tear my faith apart
I was running through blurry woods
Looking for the right door
To take me where I thought I belong,
Yes I made it that time
Mother father, drew that smile but it was obviously fake
I wasn’t ready to quit
I was fully aware, it was my journey,
I swore that I would be the pride of my family
I ignored my adventuring youth and work hard for the glory
I endured the pain and aches in order to write my story
After everything I’ve done, here I am,
Felt like my fingertips are barely touching my childhood star
But visibly, it ain’t my Betelgeuse supernova
I’m swimming in an ocean of doubts
Still wondering if this is really what I chose
Day by day I keep questioning myself
Did I make a mistake?
Those people who have been walking just half of my path
Are already holding their shooting stars
Shining like a diamond
Just tell me who’s to blame?
Give me just one answer, why I’m stuck here going nowhere?
I’ve got a million queries choking me
I tried to run away but they keep following me
As soon as I blink my eyelids, I see my dreams fly away
Every day they price my talent but still underrated
You say it’s not my fault so tell me why I can’t keep moving on?
My future is covered by those heavy clouds
So what could happen if I lost myself in the middle of this road?
What if I fall down and live like a forgotten shadow?
I’m completely lost but I’m not strong enough to start over
Maybe I should come through this **** until my life’s nightmare winds up
Would I be able to see the light at the end of this show?
Or maybe die midway with an extensive regret?

Lately, I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
How I can't control the water that rolls down my eyes like a waterfall.
It's meant to flow when I'm sad,
It's meant to assist me when I'm sober.
It does the opposite,
It makes me feel no remorse.
It makes me feel powerful.
Sometimes, I question it,
"Why have thee forsaken me when I need thee?"
it still does not reply.
I feel powerless over it.
it has more control.
One day, I stayed in the darkness.
my eyes were closed.
I was trying to blind myself from reality.
I was trying to create a world full of my own fantasies.
But it didn't work out well.
Tears crept in from behind,
they woke me up.
I was so close to escaping but they brought me back.
I tried to hold them in but they came faster than I ever imagined.
They sneaked in through a Trojan horse.
An unforeseen enemy.
They made me feel vulnerable.
I didn't need them but they came.
I'm sure they laughed because of the victory,
I cried because of my pain.