i prepare everything of
what to do
when i'm in pain
but when pain knocks
on the door
i forget every plan

self-harming your body
is not going
to end
the
pain

i hated my body
but today i realized
that hate was never emerged
from my heart
it was the insecurity of others
they sprinkled it like salt on me
to feel superior
and what a stupid soul i was
just to fit in small size
i hated my curves
like i wasn't meant to be pretty
as the standards were to small
for my double XL size

my tears formed an ocean
caused by your misfortune
but you could just see
the rain dripping
on her face

if love could say anything
it will demand
answers
from those
who used the name of love
for hurting a heart
where love bloomed

not everyone can see love
smiling in the eyes
it's a trick
given as a treat
to those who dare
to fall in love

they said look at yourself
in the mirror
and when i did
all i saw a girl
who couldn't say no
who was tired of doing
things she couldn't love
who forgot to smile when
she saw the things she liked
the reflection in mirror
was telling a story
she never thought
could be written for her
can she cry now?
she asked
but shook her head
as this society was not going
to give her the privilege
of being her true self

why we hurt and heal
in silence
like it's a must step
we all go through
to proof we are humans

they answered
acceptance
will cure your fears
but my question was different
will accepting my fears
will no longer give me
anxiety
or
panic attacks
either way even the situations were
different
they outcome was the same
me drenched in fears
every night