i hated my body
but today i realized
that hate was never emerged
from my heart
it was the insecurity of others
they sprinkled it like salt on me
to feel superior
and what a stupid soul i was
just to fit in small size
i hated my curves
like i wasn't meant to be pretty
as the standards were to small
for my double XL size

What
         A
            Waste
They say looking down their noses.
She used to be so skinny.
Pretty even, all those moons ago.
See
      Her
             Now
Fat, lonely, and ashamed of herself.
Her humanity disappearing with every bite.
No one could love her... not a pig like her.

you texted me...
i thought you never would
i missed you
so much of me wanted this
but this isnt how i thought it would be

i cant help but feel
like you have something else in mind
i cant fall for you again , i made a deal
i cant keep hurting myself over you
i cant apologize

its not that i didn't like you , i did  
but you never saw it
because it wasnt in the way your used to
so you had a fit like a little kid

i changed alot and im scared
i dont want you to hate the new me
that took so long to build
because no one else cared

im naturally a sad person
i write depressing poems
and i changed the way i dress
i want to be spontaneous
i forced myself to buy a thong
it sits in the back of my drawer
cause i still  hate my body and it just feels wrong
but i'm determined to change that
to love ever curve and stretchmark
even when my stomach isnt flat  

i dont know how long this is going to be
but im going to be the most authentic me
if you dont like the new me
then well you can leave again
but this time dont come back
just let me be

"Don't look at me like that"
Thin or Fat
Why should you get to body shame me?
So as to get fame
And feel like u've conquered someone who wasn't armed..
Am human just like you, with legs & arms
But you don't get to see that
You see only what you wanna see
The flaws that makes you tick
Don't look at me that way
Yeah those are my scars now
Made by your claws
They clawed deep into my inner being
Leaving a scar too deep to be seen
With a sword depression battles in
I yield
Am like a broken glass now
Too shattered to feel whole
All because you looked at me that way
No one is perfect
But we are close to perfection in our own way...
Am awake now
No more in the nightmare you built me
Don't look at me like that
For I am beautiful.