somehow you found me and it was like-
pomegranate suns i could swallow.
i haven't been loved like this in a long time.

i remember when she first smiled sweetly,
danced lightly, and kissed my sour lips
and she said she loved me, but i knew the truth-

she intended to use my body like how mom scoops
out red melon flesh from a rind, to pierce my heart
with black pins and eyes that never looked right.

she whispered secrets to me and found my own.
exploited my nature and soon i was hitting her across the cheek.
she said she liked it and maybe she did, but i was crying.

when i try to speak it all comes up in tangled string
and people don't believe me, even when they can see it.
how could god make me a vessel only to be dissected.

now you're here and i can't even touch you without
flinching, without feeling a phantom fire of the pains
past "lovers" ignited, without a spark, a match.

you have a dark past, twisted through violet fumes.
so do i, but only a reflection of the pages in your book.
i'm tired of living with trauma, when we haven't moved in together.

I.
The gleaming moon shined light
Emits bright luminesce, Paul holding his breath.
Floats over the hills
Valleys and streams, shadow of doubts.
Count it, another star rises!
And falls burning.
He wonders about the lantern of faith,
hides an omen of a stormy night

II.
Of those star turbulences of tragedy
Of these days passed with no respite

He lifted the lantern, his soul withstood.
He pondered on a one-way path
Confused but never scared, Listen－
the mountains echoed

III.

A lantern luminates its own soul
and
you are my light, Paul mumbles,
Absorbing all sparkles， Look
over folk lore, they glow.
Glittery magic, under a mellow hill
He lifted the lantern, a full moon
the faith and fairies bestow

04/July/2020

The times have me gobsmacked,
petulant observer, no more endearing
than anonymous audience.

My own visions, shadows on cave
walls, storytelling secret
animal lanterns.

lanterns of gold
waking up late
breakfast for lunch
days with no date

long beginnings
with uncertain ends
sudden adventures
and making new friends

losing control
with thoughts unleashed
made up excuses
"i'm heading northeast"

writing in bed
and sleeping midway
waking up late
dates with no days

final goodbyes
we're back on track
farewell golden lanterns
for winter is back

I'm not sure when
I flew
At first
A simple night
Dark with
Starry skies
I rose up
From the hole in the earth
Birthed by the ground
A child of nature
Sent up into
Life

Hello, stars in the sky
for you are my own lantern

Your gaze upon us beings intensify
sparkling like a little ballerina dancer

well then the light goes out
all lanterns fade out
and far and near
no more fireflies

oh that's all over here
end of sunset and sunrise
all cranes fly away
in all fogs and seas

24.11.18