When I am at the peak of my span
These petals open, blossoming,
You step on my face and tell me
I am who you see
Through your cataractal lenses
THAT is me, who I am supposed to be
With my name stripped away,
And that a flower’s life is destined
For sitting still and smiling
For prying fingers to uproot
Its body from the earth
Then to rot in a broken vase.

don't gain weight, they say
do you want to look like a pig?
but it's ugly if you're too skinny,
no ***** and no ***, what are you so proud of?

society's standards, everchanging and everflowing
from the desireableness of being just bone and skin to having ******* and an ***
our society that can't decide what it wants
our society that thinks it can control what is perfect

perhaps i shouldn't conform to society's standards after all

Dear Mom,
As I write this letter to you, I hope you realize how much you have hurt me. And that all you are doing is making things worse. I can't seem to say these words you face to face nor will you let me.
I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect 5 year old again. I'm 17 I make mistakes. I don't know what the hell I'm doing most of the time, but I will never admit to your face. But that shouldn't be your reason for your actions.
I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You have made life more of a hell these past few years then you probably ever will. But the drama needed to stop. But you didn't seem to realize this. I hope this isn't breaking your heart but you already broke mine. As I sit here I'm not crying, and I hope you aren't either. But honestly, everything I'm saying I have tried to tell you before. But you don't listen. I hope this letter would suffice for you, because you aren't getting anything more from me. I am done with you. I am done with everything you so call "have to offer". I tried having a relationship with you, you see how well that worked. You haven't seemed to show me you deserve another chance. I have always resented you for moving away from me. Always have and probably always will. But that isn't the only reason. As a mother your duties are to take care of me. I am your child. I come first before anyone and everyone, including yourself. This might be harsh but its the real world. Time for both of us to live in reality.  This is something you struggled with, this and making my life a living hell. But that isn't just it, you seemed to use me as a pawn or a spy for my dad, which i never seemed to understand why.  You just ditching me to go hangout with your friends isn't okay either. You will always be my Birth Giver, but you really didn't deserve the title Mom. I can't keep going down this road that I have been going down. It really has been enough. I'm done shedding tears for you, done stressing, and done sacrificing my life. Maybe in the future when I don't need to be dependent on you. But right now I don't need you in my life. You are basically destroying everything I have tried to build and re-build in the past four years. Many of my friend relationships have been destroyed because I took all my emotions to them at the age of 12. What normal kids has these emotions? I bottled them up and expressed them at the worst times possible. That is what happens when your the kid of ill mother who strains every part of you. I'm sorry if this isn't something you wanted to hear. But this is what I need say. I wish you the best in life and all your health issues. I will always love you, but right now this is the best thing I can offer.

Idly thinking I wonder where we will be in the future,                                                      
will we ever reach the stars after the death of our own world,                                                
killed by pollution, war and overcrowding?                                                    ­                                  
Will we do as in Rome, on a new planet?
If we survive that far.                                        
Our path is tough.
Some actions we do are abysmal, look at how we treat one another.
We do need to learn to talk and not shoot first.                                                           ­       
Yet there is hope, when we look up at the cosmos over our heads,                                                    
we can only wonder at its size and our tiny existence,
we are not arrogant then.                                                            ­                                                                 ­     
Brought down to earth, we know we have a chance, just one to get it right.                                    
If god were to judge us, what would he think?                                                           ­   
Agree or disagree with the way we do things?

I've become someone I don't even recognize
I sometimes believed I deserved it when you would chastise
I want to be happy but in order to do that I would have to let you go
I can't tell anymore if I do things for love or if I'm just a "**"
In your eyes I'm everything corrupt in life
All I am is one huge strife
I ask you , "What do you want from me?"
I heard only yelling none of it really matters now , all I wanted to do was flee
I just want to keep running until I don't feel anything at all
Sometimes I just give up to you , you just have such great thrall
You're the one who's always supposed to love me so if you can't even do that who can?
I found someone who could and I'm proving you wrong , even though I'm a little lost right now with no plan
I'll find my way and hopefully myself , and I hope it will give you time too
I'm tired of being hurt , crying , and believing in you changing and I'm just through