We broke up and now

we give our little sweet words --


to a new lover.

Her almond-shaped gaze squints slightly
as if to question “how can this be?”
A wave of solace overtakes her
A sun break streaming through,
dissolving every cloud,
tiny particles of warmth beaming
every last cell of her, radiating

Safe and held in the caress of his softness
Deep desire seeps from her, dripping from each trembling thigh
The same which hold him,
locked in a grip of passion
An unfamiliar yearning
An indescribable pulsation
Each wave overcoming her attention
Each longing so visceral, they leave her
crying out in gasps of predilection

She rests in pleasure of deep golden hazel
Asleep soundly knowing those eyes,
those hands have taken her in completely before finally releasing her to a slumber of immeasurable possibility

She feels awakened
A diverging electricity courses from her
A dichotomy of unknown-mixed-certainty
jolts her palpating heart with exhilaration
Each story from his lips weaves continual mystery,
twinning a heightened awareness;
That pure contentment graces her just at the sight of him

I am in quite a predicament, you see
There are new textures I can feel
This corduroy feels soft to me
The moment is only now and only real.

I melt into warmth, and only warmth
Carpet is the only way I can describe this
Patterned and aligned but soft
My fingers weave a pattern with each kiss

The taste of a smoker
A familiar taste, knowing and real
It does not bother me
A strange sense of intimacy I can feel

Lingering touch, further reaches
A gentle holding of the fingers
I think about it for too long
A bit too long

This kiss is different, and that is new
Lips match, perfect in time
A warm tingle, a passionate pull
Something I have longed to feel

I suppose I’ve started to write poetry again
That’s how I know its ******
Because now I’m in my feelings
And hard decisions ****.

love looks different now
it is overgrown
and tiny goodbye kisses enough to save a singular feeling of necessity but lacking the passion I crave so badly

this isn’t what I had imagined
going to bed alone each night
and waking up to goodbyes.

will it be like this forever?
making silly plans for our silly life together
never quite feeling like we’re doing enough

never quite feeling like I’m enough

and feeling guilty because I’ll never get quite enough

there’s not enough intimacy or romantic gestures or cuddles in the gloomy hours to fill me up

my glass is never overflowing
it’s always half empty or shattered on the floor.

I unravel us,

paralysed you are waiting --


until it's over.

Are you coming, today
I like to look at you again
laugh with you
and listen to you

Come, walk around
in my house, let me
look at you, the step aside
the tension of your buttocks

and your lips
that will kiss me
your hands that are allowed
to do everything I long for

I will not ask too much from you
you don't have to commit yourself
not for longer than I live
not to what you fear

You don't have to take care of me
just leave me alone
when I'm sick
It's enough

that you think of me

the mutual tenderness
between us
feels nice
even if its fleeting

fingers intertwined
shared laughs
tugs on the hems
of cotton tshirts

adjusting the radio volume
in your car
squeezing the dish soap from sponges
in your sink
peeling back the sheets
in your bed

moments feel intimate and infinite