Writing like slapping brushstrokes
on the page, typing with such speed
that the keys click loudly; music
to my ears. I will write like my
life depends on it, because sometimes
it does. Through lows and high, I
will make art, and maybe, just maybe,
one day someone will read them
and understand.

This window is my calendar and every sunrise feels like a Monday,
Where every leaf dances to the wind, up and down, in a spiraling parade,
I've grown jealous of the coat on every squirrel and the feather of every bird,
Skittering and fluttering their designs, jumping and flying without any concern.

My one and only attire has a lot to be desired, by comparison to say the least,
And my arms and legs, as numb and limp as stone, just can't even compete,
Although I may be bald, the feeling of standing hair slithers through my skin,
And I can't help but shed tears of joy, despite all this envy I feel within.

I should be running more, over emerald fields of blades, tickling up a smile,
I want new clothes, tighter than mine, that hug like a mother to her child,
I need to get out of this room, far from all these imitation ice cream walls,
Where a sweet aroma actually lingers, like concessions at the mall.

I'm just so sick and tired of all these procedures in my life,
Unable to carve up courage, choosing a needle over a knife,
Never having the literal nerve to just get up and leave,
Drowning in a bed comprised of a salty, sweaty sea.

But Friday is near, nature is there and I am here, a daydreaming accident,
And soon I will be free from all my "brave" and "strong" commitments,
Friday is almost here and I've become so sick that I can barely breathe,
Just one more day of chemo and maybe, just maybe, I'll be free.

There's a cross on the hill, by the old whiskey still
It marks the place where I found you
I was drowning in sorrow, no need for tomorrow
I was lost in that old mountain dew
I remember the night by the whiskey's firelight
I was sitting, while my head tried to swim
Suddenly I saw it through the light in your eyes
I found a way to forget all this sin

That old mountain dew runs deep in my veins
Now the Lord is my savior and in glory he reins
That old mountain dew is finally through
I've found my way unto you

The times have been hard, and the way has been rough
With you in my Heart I don't have to hide
Thank you, dear Lord, for the strength that you give
And for the courage you give me inside

That old mountain dew runs deep in my veins
Now the Lord is my savior and in glory he reins
That old mountain dew is finally through
I've found my way unto you

There’s a God who enflames.
He puts fire in the head
and though I have run, the wind
has never extinguished the flames,
though I have swum, the depths
have never doused them,
though I have sung long,
the music has never drowned them out.

So I have sat and I stilled
and as the flames settled
I found they were a gift, a friend,
and that this friendship warmed me.
And we ate and storied
our way through the nights.

And the flames took hold
as intended.

You, I think about, every single day
Not only does it make me happy
It provides me hope
Whenever I mope
You are not simply an inspiration
In me, do you ensure perspiration
In order to reach my goals
If I achieve success
I will dedicate it to you, for your writing
Because, you keep me believing
Hence, never do I give up
In fact, the only way for me is up
Drives me, does your radical thought
Which is straight from the heart
About society, you give not a ****
Something that manages to make me beam
Even when I am drowning in a pool of insecurities
You pull me, bit by bit
Towards achieving inner peace
One does not have to be perfect
Thanks chiefly to you, did I realise that
Your fiery passion helps me stay afloat
Even when the ship of my mind is sinking
Due to too much overthinking
You enable me to get rid of the clutter
Thus, does my focus keep getting better and better
A true braveheart, you are
In spite of being a mother
Amongst the loudest, is your voice
Against all sorts of injustice
What better motivation, do I need?
Thank you, Dear Comrade
Jai Bhim! Vaazhga Periyar!!

I tend to lose myself in crowds of people.
A chameleon blending in with its surroundings.
It’s only when I am alone once more
That I can find myself again

of all the calamities
it's this one that does it.
chewing on fantasies
wears my bite down.
i'm eroding,
my feathers are fading         away.
i'm going,
to be someone

someday.