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Solace Oct 2024
i got my picture back today

and even though i just sat quietly
in a corner of my room
with the blinds shut
and the door locked,
even though i stared at the ceiling,
breathing in and out, in and out,
and came to terms with it,
even though i convinced myself i'd be okay,

somehow my skin looks ready to be checked out,
my eyes are two overfilling ponds,
somehow my voice chokes and croaks,
somehow my fingers have stained the carpet

and there's this girl in my head
and she's screaming
and i would give anything to make her stop
stop digging at her cells
stop burrowing into her DNA
stop exhuming her genes

i will always stay this way,
i wish i could tell her.
i will always stay this way,
and it's pointless to think otherwise.
smile, you're on camera
Andru Oct 2024
Dearest Helpless,

I've grown tired of your self-pity
and lack of self-esteem,
the constant whining,
the ******* and complaining,
from morning 'til evening.

Always the same story,
never getting better.
Engraved in my memory,
I can recite it completely,
even reminding you at times
of the parts you're forgetting.

Years have passed,
and I see now
what I once thought
was a momentary lapse
in your heartbroken reasoning
has become your whole being.

No need to explain yourself.
I know who you are:
emotionally greedy,
wanting everything,
giving back nothing.

I remember times
when you were happy,
but daydreams awoke
to confuse reality,
what you thought was happening,
wasn't taking place at all.

I've stopped calling,
inviting you out with my friends,
who become your friends too.
I can't sit across from you,
listening to you complain
that you have no friends,
when one sits before you,
and another calls to see
what you're doing.

Maybe you'd be better off
in another country,
away from this city,
truly alone instead of pretending.
But I fear you'd fall in love
with a tree, a bird, or something
and end up with a broken heart
because your affection's object
is not a human being.

If you don't understand love,
speak nothing of it.
Study another subject.

I've lied to you
since the beginning.
I don't have the answers
to your questions.
I know nothing at all,
addicted to talking ****
when I'm not interested.

Share your story
with someone who hasn't heard it.
Maybe they'll have the answers
since mine don't seem to be helping.

I thought about introducing you
to someone new,
but three years later,
after your broken-hearted record plays,
they'd find themselves late
one Sunday evening,
surrounded by friends,
writing you a letter
to explain their feelings,
for they too have grown tired
of the same old story.

History repeats itself
when our patterns
become a habit.
But you never listened,
so I'll stop talking
and end this.

Sincerely,
A friend who will miss your stories.
Jeremy Betts Oct 2024
I leave her alone
To give her the time
To feed her desires
'Till her own passion expires
And she falls asleep...
...in her preferred alone
So I can then come in
And kick the same tires
Left to fight the nightmares
Of my expressed fears
Of again being unwanted
And then try to sleep...
...in the worst type of alone

©2024
Bekah Sep 2024
At 16, I was a shadow of myself
A reflection of all my doubts and fears
But now, when I look in the mirror
I see resistance
And a person who faced their demons
I am no longer bound by the bitterness
Fueled by my own insecurity
Gone is the girl who questioned her worth
And in her place stands the woman
Who knows the value of herself
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
There’s something so sinister about being lost inside of yourself;-
I apply Lip Ice before I fall asleep, just in case I have to experience
That cold kiss with Death. But that’s one being, being less than
generous to oneself, and giving out a lot of degenerate excuses
Of not doing so well. Rambling picaresque; engulfed by a hardened
sense; feeding well into my own insecurities, made from haphazard
ingredients- as a soul that tastes like concluded gumbo

Still, I ate a full plate; possessing a ruthless taste; an illegitimate
descendant of experience- that ******* is tapping, watered down
By the chit and chatter of rain; a totem of pain, spoken in haste,
As my lips are a cigarette ember, kissing while heat reveals itself,
As a tiny echoed spark, in a pool full of fresh gasoline

I only hear the sound of peace, in a snoring dream, ha, I hardly
do try to breathe out of my nose. From not being altogether; are we
Really all together- who really knows? But only the dead, who truly
Get to see the entire world, as souls that rise, or of course those who fall
As its truly so sinister living as beings, in this world’s being.
Mrs Timetable Mar 2024
My adoring stare
Loves you
Like I'm yours
But I stay behind
With my eyes down
So you may not know
For fear you may erase
Both our smiles
With the doubt
In your mind
Chances gone forever
Jeremy Betts Nov 2023
Painfully vain for such an insecure person
Dualities confliction keeps me on the bottom rung
A innocent convict, guilty victim type wrong
An unrecognizable cosmic size con
A blasphemous conviction
Obviously not the one to bet on
A hit and run rerun just begun
But what's done is done
Wake up with the next sun
But never ask to witness another one

©2023
Jeremy Betts Nov 2023
I do not go through life fearless, nor do I wait until I've conquered fear
Everything I do I do despite fear, fight through every tear, must be better than the prior year
I'm sure there's a word for exactly that, that's a fact, but I call it living
Acknowledge when I fall flat, remember there's no safety mat and I must never go back to the beginning
That's who I want to be, that's what I want to say
But that is not the me I wake up with everyday
I'm unsure,
Insecure,
Immature,
With a bit of a temper
I could go on and on, stop me when it starts to sound familiar...

©2023
many will know the beauty
of a butterfly's wing
and the delicate intricacy
of their decoration
those swathes of colour
meandering boldly in flight
a proclamation of
             their presence
             their providence
whose startling eyespots
can mimic the stolid gaze
of the stern and the alluring
observing in judgement
or perhaps in wonder
blinking only as they flutter
flattered disbelieving
yet there are reminders
in that Rorschach patterning
that those with ill intent
should observe
threats and
             warnings overlooked
by those in admiration
of such beauty
where few will heed
that gossamer fragility
broken by any
not considerate enough
in their handling
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