My life before I met you was just simply dull. I never ever felt any emotions. I couldnt feel happiness, I couldnt feel sadness. I didnt even have any emotional relationships with people. Like I knew I should love my family or some friends. And I said I did. I just couldnt feel it. It was just a word for me and I thougt that's normal because I never knew anything other.
Everything changed when I met you. And by everything I mean my whole life, soul,thinking,feeling,talking,moving,dreaming,breathing. There wasnt a single part of my existence that didnt change.
I started feeling things Ive never felt before.
I started seeing things Ive never seen before.

When I was with you I often realized that I feel like Im in a movie. In a really, really beautiful movie.
Everytime we went to bed I never fell asleep before you and then I just stared at your beautiful face sleeping and your beautiful chest moving while you were breathing.
And every morning I woke up earlier just to look at you a bit longer.
When we were waiting for the tram in streets of your beautiful hometown Prague, I looked at you again and I remember my thoughts till this day. "How ******* lucky am I to call you mine. How did I ever deserve you? And also how lucky I am that you are also a lesbian."

Since I met you... I strated crying.
I never really cried before.
Do you remember the first time you played the guitar for me? How my tears just started falling?
I dont really know why but I think that was the moment I fell in love with you. Cause I didnt know that feeling and I didnt know how to express or let out my emotions, so I just started crying.
And then usually tears started falling while your body was joined with mine... or when we were saying goodbye...

It feels like my life just started when I met you.

And that was how I knew I was madly, madly in love with you girl.

Just tell me.. What should I do to numb the pain that has fully outgrown through my whole body.... Just tell me what to do... Cause I dont know what to do anymore. Everything seems just pointless without you. And I know I can have you back. Or can I? Well for sure not right now.   I've been really unwell since you left...   Now this time, it has been a year. A whole ******* year since you told me you need to be alone, A year since you broke my whole ******* heart A year since I almost died in your bathroom and you saved my life A year since I last heard your voice A year since I last kissed you A year since we made love A year since I told you I fell completely in love with you A year since I first met your family and you met mine A year since you were the most beautiful surprise out of all on my birthday A year since you played a last song on the guitar for me A year since I was crying when I had to say goodbye to you and wait a whole week to see you again A year since I felt like my life couldn't get any better A year since I drank alcohol and felt joy instead drowning in the sadness for your absence A year since I started writing a beautiful, happy, loveful poetry A year since I truly felt any kind of emotions for the first time...   And after this whole ******* year I still crave for you. After all this whole ******* year I still love you.

So then I asked, "why does one's heart beat faster for one but behave normally for the rest?"

I've been blindly in love,
With someone who sees me.
I've been blindly in love...
Like Cupid and Psyche.
I don't have to see,
To imagine and believe...
Cause what's inside truly matters.
What's essential always comes first.
I've been blindly in love,
Yes, I am and I know.
I'll never let you go...
Through the beautiful paradise
And through the darkest roads,
I'll be there walking with you.
I'll always tell you,
"I'm always here to stay."
I'll be giving colour...
To your shades of gray.
To always remind you,
"That's what I'm here for."
I've been blindly in love,
With the way you laugh,
With the way you talk,
With the way you smile...
With your warm embrace,
Reminds me of the place.
I've been blindly in love,
I'm always here to tell you...
That always, I love you so...
Promise me you'll never forget,
That you always know,
I don't have to see to believe...
I've always been yours,
Even if I've been blindly in love.

your eyes seem to change colors
and seem to be deeper than the ocean

you have different laughs but my
favorite is the short and breathless one

you know i can’t stand country music
yet you blast it through your speakers

your family has dinner together every
single night like the ones in the movies

you always say, “yeah, um” or “the uh”
when you’re thinking of what to say

you workout every day for hours
shaping your body into perfection

you seem like a mama’s boy
always trying to please and talk to her

you love animals but
still eat your meat

your mom is always gone traveling
and you pretend that you’re not sad

you work hard for the grades you have
but the pressure makes you feel worse

your considering the army but
can’t decide if it’s worth the time

your hands are always rough when
you touch me but it just means hard work

you always look at me like i’m the
only one you are able to see

every time we see each other
i notice more stops on your
roadmap and i travel every
time we laugh, cry, smile
and i think it’ll be an endless vacation

When our lips touched
My world stopped
Just like how I felt
With the other guy who left

These lips that tasted joy and pain
These lips that tasted tears and flames
These lips marks the beginning
Yet it always ends in nothing

When our lips touched
I was ready, I was ready to fall in love
Even if it's a one-sided affection
Even if it's another rejection

I'd take risks.
Always.

you are the warmest yellow,
and the coldest blue.

your burnt orange is the blazing fireplace,
in our cozy little home.
your hunter green is the clumps of grass,
that our children's bare feet will touch for the first time.
your pale purple is the dress that I will wear,
on our anniversary date night.
your indigo blue is the 2am,
that I roll over to see your closed eyes next to me.
your maroon red are the blisters on your hands,
when you come home from a long day at work.
your deep grey is the smooth countertops,
that I sit on while you kiss me.
the ash black is the comforter on our bed,
that we lay chest to chest under.

your colors paint our future,
and they are oh so beautiful.

m.e.

What if we lived in the same town?
What would happen then?

I picture you in your black coat,
Wishing you never left.

Throat closing, waving from across the street
Heartbroken, you still got a piece of me.

I tiptoed alone to your wooden room
I felt you changing in an afternoon

We left it open
Kept the pages clean

I never wanted to let you go
I still see you coming home.

I held my breath on the river
We were supposed to be good

You were trapped in the darkness
I wanted to help you get out of that mess.

My suitcase was heavier than I thought it'd be

I looked back
and felt tears falling.

From this side  I can hold it better now.
You were wrong
You were right...

I still see you coming home

It has been more then six months since we broke up,
I mean since you broke up with me.

And during those six months there still hasn't been a day I didn't think about you. Everything still reminds me of you.

Every single bird that flies by.
Every song I hear, all the words appeal to you.
Every new place I discover,  I wish I would discover it with you.
Every great new person I meet, I wish you could get to know them too.
Every new painting I make,  I want to show and explain it to you.
Only you.
Always only you.

-Tereza Balatkova