Three words can change your life:
"I need help."
Three words can make your day:
"I love you."
Three words can make a difference
In so many different ways.

I lay here lonely,
left to my thoughts as the house quiets down.
I'm too stunned to cry,
too alive to die;
too lost to be found,
but not enough to be missing.
A year's not very long,
it's there and then it's gone.
Age doesn't matter if it's legal,
and maturity isn't just for around other people.
I'm hurt!
but am I?
How dare he! How dare they!
but is it really? or am I all twisted again? telling lies and truths as if they were one.
I'm trying to stay calm;
Pretend nothing's going on.
but I can't. I'm not the actress.
I'm just upset, I guess.
but about what exactly?
The lack of trust?
The disbelief in my self-defense skills?
The attempt to go behind my back and make decisions for me?
The insult to my intelligence?
Or the complete and utter fail at maturity that has made me family lose faith in me?
no. oh,no,no,no,no,no, it couldn't possibly be any of those!
It's my fault. blame me. I'm the one who fought to not fall, yet lost that battle by saying 'yes' to you.
I'm SO SORRY. It's all my fault.

P.S. I hope this doesn't break you.

Let me get this STRAIGHT.
Hold on, I'm gonna run this BI you.
I wanna see how this PANs out, ok?
LES just see how this goes.
I need you to TRANSfer those papers.
Come on, I bet you ACEd the test!

Darkness around me does nothing
I used to run in fear
Afraid of the thoughts in my head
Now i embrace them

They only make me stronger
The shadows want to protect me
If i get hurt along the way
It is my own fault

My body is a canvas now
I need to express my feelings somehow
But where do i put
These little red lines tonight?

On my wrists?
On my thighs?
On my stomach?
Where?

Behind my knees?
Behind my arm?
Behind my back?
Where?

Where would bring me the most pain?
Where would be the easiest to conceal?
For not everyone understands my art.
And so i must keep it hidden.

My breathing is shallow
The air is too thin.
The demons are screaming
I think they might win.

My vision is blurry
My heart rate is slow.
No therapy can help me,
I think i'm letting go.

your eyes sparkle
your voice sings
your smell lingers
your words sting

you laugh like a kid
you are always polite
you compliment me
it always leads to a fight

you’re perfect, to my dismay
but that doesn’t stop me

i probe until i find something,
an excuse to walk away.

I wish I could turn back time
Where I had my happiness
My happy place
My peace

Now that it's taken away from me
I am lost
Stranded
And depressed

I don't know if there's hope for me
I can't even think straight
I've lost what I found
And I can't find my true source

I am in pain
My heart beats slowly
It's ailing with sadness
And I'm dying

I need help
I'm sinking in darkness
I can't do it alone
Help me

I want to hold a gun to my head
shooting the monster inside
until it's lying there spilling black blood on the ground.

I want to pull the trigger
over and over again
until it's not moving
not breathing
until there's nothing left but silence.

I'm sick of writing songs for you.
What did it ever mean to you?
What did you ever do
to deserve them?

I'm sick of bleeding out for you.
Sick of losing tears for you.
What did you ever do
to preserve them?

I am so sick of loving you.
So very sick of needing you.
When all that you ever do
is ignore me.

I'm sick of looking up to you.
Of searching every crowd for you.
Of telling myself that you
Don't abhor me.

But see I think the problem is,
Even though I'm sick of it,
You're the only one that fits
with me.

So yeah, I'm freaking sick of you,
But I can't really say I'm through;
Oh what ever did you do
To me?