Regina 3d

“No” does not exist
“No” has been replaced with “yes”
So, every time I say “no,”
it means “yes”
This is what he told me.

I am not allowed to say “stop”
In our relationship,
“Stop” is not part of my vocabulary
This is what he told me.

“Take off your clothes”
“No”
“What did we talk about?”
“I said No”
He pushes me on the bed
and unbuckles his belt
I try to get up
but he pushes me down again
He grabs my legs
pulling me towards him
“Please stop” I whisper,
He puts his hands around my throat
I can’t breathe
“If you say the word ‘stop’ again,
I will kill you.”
I close my eyes
because I knew he wouldn’t stop.
Not until he was finished.
I lay in silence,
tears running down my face.

Regina Oct 11

When he climbs on top of me
I’m silenced.
Fearing if I fight
he’ll hurt me worse.
I can smell the alcohol
on his breath as he says,
“I love you,”
He puts his hands
under my shirt
and asks, “do you love me?”
I don’t reply
He puts his hand around my throat
“I said, do you love me?”
I whisper “yes”
because my life is in his hands
He says, “your body is mine, and it belongs to me”
At the sound of his zipper
my heart sinks
I know what’s about to happen
I beg him to stop,
That if he truly loves me,
He wouldn’t do this
But my words don’t mean a thing.
I try to push him off me
but he pins me down
He rips off my clothes
and I lay there as helpless as a mouse
trapped in an eagle’s grasp
With tears streaming down my face
I cry, “please stop, please stop, please stop”
But my cries go unnoticed
He spits on his hand
and forces himself inside me
I stop fighting
because I know
what’s done is done
I stare at the empty vodka bottles on the shelf
as he penetrates my body, my mind, my spirit.

Regina Jan 2014

Her heart was once whole,
Not broken or shattered,
Not torn or tattered,
But something that mattered.

She used to be happy,
Both inside and out,
Until he came along,
And filled her with doubt.

He said that he loved her,
Which was clearly a lie,
For he stabbed her in the back,
and left her to die.

Now that her heart has stopped beating,
It lies dead on the floor,
The pieces are scattered,
And she is no more.

Regina Jan 2014

She closes her eyes,
One cut leads to another.

The pain feels so good,
It is almost addicting.

She can't stop,
Not until she can finally breathe.

Her tears turn red,
Falling to the ground.

Nothing can heal,
What she's already done.

She opens her eyes,
Her skin is bright red.

The scars will be ugly,
They'll never fade.

One last cut,
And then she'll be done.

Her breathing becomes labored,
Blood seeps through the cut.

She's gone too deep,
and for what?

Warning - May be triggering!
Regina Jan 2014

"Sticks and stones can break my bones,
but words can never hurt me."
No, that is not true.
She's seen the hurt that words can do,
she's felt it, experienced how words can kill,
the damage they do against one's own will.
Language is a powerful thing,
with the capabilities of destroying, one's life.
She turns to dull the pain with a knife
as each cursed word turns into a line.
Red tears begin to fall,
but she can't stop.
Not until she's gone too far.
She can hide the scars, but just barely.
People say she's fine, though she knows she's not
because those words are forever caught, inside her,
and the pain will never be forgotten,
for it is trapped inside her veins,
and can only be let out with the knife,
as she slowly destroys her life.
Now do you see what words can do?

Meant to be read as a spoken word poem.

— The End —