Intoxicated duality and
The bipolar mirror in your heart

You want that taste
Vapors lingering to your tongue

Spark up insanity with
Roman candles

But mask the smell
Spill the ash, deny

Afraid of what to be
Can’t figure me out

Only dust, dancing
In a wave of ember

For hell’s sake
We’re pretending Heaven

Habits of solace
Vices in revolve

You deserve more
than this oddly-
shaped heart.

I wish the mind was as self-healing as the **body

An Autobiography

I rise from another sleepless night
Rinse off yesterday's losses
Put on my shoes
And hats
And walk out someone's front door
I travel the same path everyday
I know it well
It's paved in shells


I go to my job as a performer
I juggle hats you see
I juggle one for love
One for life
One for order
One for peace
And even one for me
I drop a hat now and then
And lately
More now, than then.

And when the hours have passed by
And the stars rise in the night sky
I trudge the shelled path
Right back to the past
The moon will come and go
And

I'll rise from another sleepless night
And rinse off yesterday's losses

Oh baby I can tell
You've got that self destructive
Streak in you

You like to drink hard liquor
Without any chasers
Smoke too many cigarettes
And dip if you're offered
You'll try any drug
At least once
But marijuana and Molly
Are your favorites.

Staying sober isn't on your agenda
Because when you're intoxicated
Life is a blur, a movie

Your tumblr is littered
With too skinny girls
Who you wished you looked like
And pictures of
******* **** and *****
Are every other repost
And inbetween them are soft little
Poems about being alone
Or being in love

And you've never felt so empty

Disappointment rises
peace of mind waits at the horizon
no one to rely on, no one to confide in
hope and strength, in my heart you can find it
I crave and I need
but I’m getting lost in everything
everything against me.
Exhausted and drained I fall to my knees
everyone watches as my energy depletes
I hold all the love close to me, all that I see
it’s not enough to silence
my utter feeling in inadequacy
I’m afraid for the future, for what is unseen
forgotten where I’m bound
there’s nobody to be found
when no one’s here
where can my guidance be found?
although I’m well intentioned
there are a few things I failed to mention
I’m in need of security in need of affection
trials and tribulation
prevent any illusions of protection
I’m cautious because it’s hard to tell what’s fake
I have to take initiative, don’t wait
don’t have time
to explore my heartache