perhaps we burned so fiercely
that even our best efforts
couldn't quench the flames.

Esther L. Krenzin

This isn't meant
To reach
Their eyes
Nor am I
It's a little
Late now to
Consider
Common courtesy
I might as
Well speak
I've nothing
To lose
But everything
I failed
At failing
That's the worst
Failure of all
And some
Nights I still
Dream that
I'm back
In that hell
But in my
Mind I stay
Behind and
I never
Let him go
But that's
Not the truth
I don't know
Where he is
Or who I am
Just that
This mind
Is empty
Of everything
In a way
Tormented
By the things
I swore
I watched
Fade
It's hard
To say that
I won't let them
Break me
When all that
I want is to
Break and
Break and
Break
Until I'm
Shattered down
To a piece
Of sand
Waiting for a
Wave to take
Me away
When I think
Of home
I think
Of pain
There's no
House without
Blades
There's no
Love without
Shame
I'm falling
Away
From all
My drawings
Sketching
Of ideas
I once thought
I had
I can barely
Step in
The rightest
Direction
When every
Which way
I am faced
With the same
Mistakes
I keep on
Making
Maybe it's
Fate that I'll
Leave like
They didn't
Maybe it's
Best that I
Bow out now
Maybe it's
Will that I
Throw caution
To the wind
And myself
With it
This life
Is a hell
That doesn't
Mean it
Has to be mine

**** love I’m done trying,
My heart is big but beats so quiet,
My love for you was so unknown,
But I have not seen you since you have last grown,

God willing I kiss your soft lips again,
Engage in that beautiful tasting ,experience,
My love don’t forget me but instead i say,
**** love I’m done trying...

Cold days and
Cold feet
I just don't
Want to get up
Right now
Don't be sad
Or think that
I am
I'm not
I'm just tired
And frustrated
And I want to be alone
In the world
Doing what I love
I hope that's not
Too much to ask

Sinking

Feeling


When I hear the telltale sound
Sobbing from the ceiling
While our parents
Don't hear a thing
I know it's wrong
To put my headphones on
But leaving you
In your misery
Drenched silence
Is easier than breaking it

Cut my hair
As cute as can be
Now I'm even better
At hiding what is me