Fading lines, a whispered plea,
Erasing myself, for all to see.
A gentle wash, a silent tear,
Dissolving slowly, year by year.

No angry shout, no sudden break,
Just fading colors, for goodness sake.
A muted echo, soft and low,
Where vibrant hues used to brightly glow.

The canvas blank, a pristine white,
Lost in shadows, out of sight.
A gradual leaving, soft and deep,
Secrets that I vow to keep.

No grand farewell, no final bow,
Just emptiness, and only now
I understand the silent art,
Of fading softly, setting apart.

You are the butterfly
that softly whooshes
between my ribcage
and that flutters
around my heart
aiding in its job
of moving the carcass
that is my body.

Even if you oddly
revert your
metamorphosis
and stay still
next to me
and rest in a cocoon
allowing silence
to rule for a day or two
perhaps
I've hurt you
and that's your way
to regenerate
from my unintentional
hurt.

As I lay in bed
I do the same
I go back
to my own cocoon
I shelter myself
out of site
but I'm no
butterfly.

YOU BETRAYED ME!!!,
HOW COULD YOU??
You STABBED me in the BACK, and
Got me FEELING ALL BLUE,
I AM LOST FOR WORDS,
I AM NOT SURE I SHOULD DO,
WHAT WE HAD WAS SACRED!! and
I TRUSTED IN YOU, but
I WAS ALL WRONG,
NOW, I FEEL LIKE A FOOL,
You Betrayed me!!,
Why can't you just see,
You Left me hanging on a limb,
How could you do this to me???,
This feeling of BETRAYAL,
NO, It does not feel good!!!,
of how you just did me,
This is so MISUNDERSTOOD!!!!,
I STOOD RIGHT BY, and I CONFIDED IN YOU,
I thought you were a TRUE FRIEND but,
You did me wrong and that's not cool,
Therefore, this FRIENDSHIP has to end,
This BETRAYAL and BROKEN TRUST,
has been lost, but
with TIME and PATIENCE, could BE MENDED,
It won't be easy and things won't be the same, the BETRAYAL is on YOU, and
YES!!!
You are the one to BLAME!!!
Just one more thing I'd thought that you should know,
What comes around goes around
YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW!!!, but
I WILL FORGIVE YOU!!!,
EVEN FEELING SO LOW!!,
BROKEN DOWN AND UNSTABLE,
I AM FEELING SO BAD,
RUNNED DOWN, WORNED and FATIGUED,
BECAUSE OF YOUR BETRAYAL!!!


B.R.
Date: 4/8/2025

You said, "I love you still"
And the words are like boulders on my back,
Crushing me, like how I drowned our love
Because we were just momentary.

Waltzing with my hand intertwined with death
Has never been a greater fate,
You'll keep pulling that knife out of my chest,
But you'll always be too late.

You are a brick tied to my neck                                                                    ­                                        
Concrete blocks on my feet                                                                     ­                                          
I have given you my best,                                                            ­                                              
  but this isn't meant to be                                                                      ­                                            
 I held you up until I was tired                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
Wiped tears as they fell down      
                                                                ­                                                       
Your insecurities start to fire                                                                     ­                                    
Smothering me, I am bound                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
You have called me a liar, a cheat                                                                    ­                                                      
  and as soon as I start to react                                                                       ­                                               
 You are either crying on your knees                                                                       ­                                                  
 or rising up for another attack                                                                   ­                                                
You are ******* the life out of me           
                                                                ­                                                        
Not happy unless I am suffering,                                                       ­                                                                 
I just want to break free                                                                      ­                                     
  Take your chains off of me

We fought until we fell apart                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                         
 No love left in each other's hearts                                                                        ­                                                      
All these years we can't regain             
                                                                                    ­                            
Any empathy that once remained                                                                 
I have always wondered why I stayed                                                           ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
While you continued to push me away      
                                                                    ­                                                   
Now all of the love that we once knew                                                                     ­                                        
Has become a stain of me & you

theres this ache in my heart
it never goes away
not fully
only dulls

i tried to cut it out

that didnt work

i tried to burn it out

that didnt work

i tried drown it in pills and alcohol

that didnt work

so

at last

i tried to **** it

took out my blade
went to work with it
as i had many times

took out my bottle
and felt the familiar warmth spread throughout my body

and finally
took out the pill bottle

took them all within two swallows

and i decided that wasnt enough

so i took the bottle of cough syrup

chugged that

and went to bed