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ivan 2d
a lot of things can happen in 5 minutes.


5



‘where is he?’
in his room!
with his cat
his beloved cat

that cat that only hears him
and he only hears her
like notes playing continuously


4


‘where is he?’
in the garden
among the blossoms
his beloved blossoms

looking up
at the clouds
and looking down
at his flower crowns


3


‘where are you?’
up the tree!
the tree’s leaves look more green here
your beloved leaves

watching the birds
picking up their feathers
taking away their piece of freedom
away piece of their wisdom


2


‘where are you?’
walking on the street
smells smoky
you don’t like it here

kicking lost rocks,
you look at the horizon
now you remember
that you don’t want the life
you don’t want the cat
you don’t want the garden
you don’t want the tree
or the birds


1
‘where am i?’
looking down.
at the rushing water below the bridge
is this really necessary?

it is.
i know it is.
i cant find my feet touching the bridge
im flying now
maybe for a moment
im the bird



oh god, let me be the bird.
BRO I WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS😭😭
There I few things that I truly crave but my unattainable goal is love
I want people to love me I want bestie I crave a person that I love me quirks and all I yearn a relationship

The amount of love I see seeping from every other person has given me a taste for something I can never have
The people play my heartstrings for never reciprocatethe tune

I spend my limited days on this earth in my fortress of solitude yearning for anyone that would take me as theirs welcome me in there arms
Morgan Howard Oct 23
Depression is like a bottomless pit
Once you fall in
You can almost never get out

You claw at the walls of the deep hole
Using all of your strength
To climb to the surface
The effort is grueling
But you have a spark of hope
That you're strong enough

But a stone falls from above
Catching you off guard
And you fall once again
Landing ******* the cold floor
Right back where you started

Your body is weak and exhausted
The attempt to save yourself
Is taking its toll
You lie on your back
Gazing up at the light
Coming from the entrance of the chasm
But you are too weary to try again
So you lay there
As your hope fades away
Hanzou Oct 21
Did you ever think he hadn’t tried,
To see the world through your weary eyes?
He thought of you in every breath he took,
But now it seems you never cared to look.

It wasn’t beauty alone that made him stay,
But the way your flaws lit up the day.
He saw the cracks, the scars, the pain,
And loved you through the storm and rain.

He couldn't give roses or petals in bloom,
But he offered his heart to light up the gloom.
A token here, a gesture there—
His love was wrapped in ways unfair.

But maybe now, that feels too small,
As if his efforts were nothing at all.
The gifts he gave, the time he spent,
Seem lost in a sea of discontent.

You were the world, the stars, the sky,
Yet somehow, he failed in your eyes.
He wonders if you’ll ever see,
How much you truly meant to be.

For now, it feels like his love was missed,
Like all he gave was easily dismissed.
But deep inside, he knows it’s true—
He cherished every part of you.
unspoken words.
Why do I have to earn the salvation I seek?
To be so intervened in discomfort so deeply,
I sculpture a home in it,
I bestride me in delusion,
My inconsistence towards my self,
Ignites a flame in which I burn alive,
Thus
My memories are mere ashes
And I no longer remember your name nor mine,
My inconsistency of will,
Of mind and thoughts,
Of love,
Of meaning,
It invokes of my burdens and failure,
Bewitched to inconspicuousness,
Nothing descends upon me,
But mountain of realization,
That transgresses on all my hopes,
I am hopeless,
A fool,
A puppet of the greatest puppeteer,
An unvalued one,
My theory is based off nothing,
Thus,
I am too a void,
Driven to soak up everyone's essence,
Desperate as a sponge.
Andru Oct 12
Dearest Helpless,

I've grown tired of your self-pity
and lack of self-esteem,
the constant whining,
the ******* and complaining,
from morning 'til evening.

Always the same story,
never getting better.
Engraved in my memory,
I can recite it completely,
even reminding you at times
of the parts you're forgetting.

Years have passed,
and I see now
what I once thought
was a momentary lapse
in your heartbroken reasoning
has become your whole being.

No need to explain yourself.
I know who you are:
emotionally greedy,
wanting everything,
giving back nothing.

I remember times
when you were happy,
but daydreams awoke
to confuse reality,
what you thought was happening,
wasn't taking place at all.

I've stopped calling,
inviting you out with my friends,
who become your friends too.
I can't sit across from you,
listening to you complain
that you have no friends,
when one sits before you,
and another calls to see
what you're doing.

Maybe you'd be better off
in another country,
away from this city,
truly alone instead of pretending.
But I fear you'd fall in love
with a tree, a bird, or something
and end up with a broken heart
because your affection's object
is not a human being.

If you don't understand love,
speak nothing of it.
Study another subject.

I've lied to you
since the beginning.
I don't have the answers
to your questions.
I know nothing at all,
addicted to talking ****
when I'm not interested.

Share your story
with someone who hasn't heard it.
Maybe they'll have the answers
since mine don't seem to be helping.

I thought about introducing you
to someone new,
but three years later,
after your broken-hearted record plays,
they'd find themselves late
one Sunday evening,
surrounded by friends,
writing you a letter
to explain their feelings,
for they too have grown tired
of the same old story.

History repeats itself
when our patterns
become a habit.
But you never listened,
so I'll stop talking
and end this.

Sincerely,
A friend who will miss your stories.
aAr Oct 9
Every time i hold your hand,
I wish it lasts forever.
Every time you look at me ,
I wish i look my best.
Every time i look at you,
I wish i could look away.
Every time you ask me something,
I wish i could find the words to answer.
Every time i feel like I'm in love,
I wish it was the same for you.
aAr Oct 10
i wish i saw
what i see in you
in a stranger
i can chase with no regret.
warning: don't fall in love with friends
What kind of life does he life if not astray?
Drinking his vows away,
He has mastered a simple lie,
He says he doesn't pry,
Yet he looks around in hope,
In pursuit of his answer to why,
Why is it that he madly deluded himself?
Why is it that he doesn't find himself well?
Why does he borrow,when his nature is to give?
Why has he swallowed his own guilt?
A  plaintiff of his own crimes,
A hypocrite and an insect,
Shriveled up in the hopes of summer,
Only to find himself trampled and deserted,
Suffocated under the knowledge of his distasteful being,
He finds himself aligned to a menacing repercussion,
The cause of it all he has yet to attain,
He inquiries ,"Why do you wish for me to live when I find it all in vain?"
We grace the sky by keeping sane and alive,
So it's not protecting a barren land,
And retains it's purpose,
Although my lifelessness would encourage,
A deserted deceased body,
Over a lifeless one,
Do I have the right to despise the tarnish in the monsoon sky?
The flowers and rain,
The ceaseless beauty of this land makes me sick,
Neither am I right full to chase it nor have it,
I have been bleeding while only noticing the beauty of my blood,
With its throbbing pain going unnoticed,
Because it's all I have been allowed to see,
My nature propells me to admire what I see,
My feeble cry of destain,
Abolished by the thundering sound of the rain,
I have successfully pursued your hate,
Yet,
I am not satisfied.
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