The hardest part of my day was finding a reason not to
And most nights, that reason was you
Most of the time, you weren’t even there
You were miles away with someone else
Yet you always picked up, or called right back
You listened, you laughed, you made me smile
You let me bleed through the airwaves, you were patient
You never judged though we knew who’s fault it was
(Mine)
You talked me off so many ledges, when all I wanted to do was jump
You saved me so many nights, just by being you
You ended every phone call with “I LOVE YOU!”
Not some secret or shy I love you
No you preached it loud and proud
As if you wanted the world to know it
It made me want to say it louder
But I was afraid of the word
Afraid I wasn’t good enough for you
So afraid, that I didn’t realize just how much I loved until it was too late
You even saved me the first day we met
You were always a superhero
You saw how hurt I was, how shamed I was in the face of her betrayal
Took me by the hand and whispered “Don’t worry, I’ll be your Girlfriend for the day.”
My heart grew two sizes that moment
(Something else grew, but we won’t talk about it)
We made her boil with jealousy
and she ran away in defeat
but you didn't let go there
You held me close through the cemetery
Partly out of fear, but we were both afraid, just of different things
I think that’s why “we” never happened
Why we always loved from afar
I was a dork, you were a dweeb
Our awkward behavior collided like peanut butter and jelly
Like peas and carrots
Like mac and cheese
I still feel it now
At least the memory of it, the shadow of it
Even that’s enough to keep me warm
I still hear your laugh ringing in my ears
And those baby browns
The way you’d smile when I’d pull up
Made me feel like a movie star
I’m a ***** guy, yet your pretty eyes and woman curves
Made me rethink who I was
I just wanted you beside, in front of, on top of me no matter what
I wanted to wrap your little heart in bubble wrap
And cover your ears in love songs
But you wanted stable, I didn’t even know the meaning of the word
I was afraid I’d fall, you were afraid you’d join me
Thus I loved you from afar, and forever will
No, it’s not fair, ******,
But the world ain’t a fair place
You know that better than most
And knowing someone as beautiful, as courageous,
As kind hearted as you could love me
Is more than enough to make me believe my dweeb is still out there.
I owe you a lifetime for that, many in fact,
So many nights I would’ve jumped were it not for you.
Kyle Dee
