Fresh cut flowers–
Bundles of baby’s breath, dahlias and daisies
Hugged together in the jar on my kitchen island,
Straining to find some semblance of sun
As stars twinkle outside,
Hidden beneath the wisps and whirls
Of dancing clouds in the damp, dark sky.
Pinks and purples and whites
Joined together, because… they were pretty at the market–
Lovingly placed one by one to give each flower its moment to shine.
Fresh cut flowers sit
On counters and tables, nightstands and bookshelves,
A thoughtful, cherished, beautiful gift.
They brighten our homes and our lives and
Remind us of love and are reminders of loved ones.
A fragile, wilting, dying reminder.
Pretty for a fleeting moment in time,
Loved while they last, but lasting only long enough for us to notice
When they are gone.
A brief, fleeting season of our lives,
Our fresh cut flowers--
And our loved ones.
When those we love are gone
And our grief is not enough to remember them,
And we leave them fresh cut flowers in the hope
That they know how much we love them,
                                                                ­      Still.
How much we cherish them,
                                                Still.
How often we think of them,
                                                Still.
If grief is what is left when those we love have gone,
When they have gone
And have left a crater in our hearts
That all the fresh cut flowers in the world cannot fill,
When the weight presses in
And our hearts are trapped in our throats
With all the words we wish we could say and have them hear–
Then what happens to our fresh cut flowers?
They are fragile.
They are grief.
They are love.
They are a precious, cherished memory–
They are gone.

I see it,
I feel it.
At last,
I believe it.

I watch
The shore break,
Peace,
Relief.
I feel the
Calm waters
Beneath my feet.

Lost hope
Regained,
Seeing faith
In close sight.
Through
Day and night
I reach
Closer to light.

Story of old,
Left untold.
New writings
Unfold,
Covered in gold.

Back to the start
I go,
Fresh welcomings
Mend my soul.

A sunrise
Through sour season,
A true welcome
To peace,
And freedom.

I feel it,
I see it,
And at last
I believe it.

Will I ever not be excited to meet myself?
Will I ever stop expecting a knock at the door, to find myself on the other side, saying
“Hello, it’s so good to finally see you!”

Is there a part of me so removed from the paths I have taken
That is doing everything it can to make its way back to me?
Is she a lover I have forgotten too soon?

Will I no longer await the arrival of someone new
To join me behind the mirror and let me absorb
Enough of her newness to be considered whole?

When do I become
me?

Back to the start we go,
Life is a constant flow,
Of ups and downs,
Smiles and frowns,
To all the memories
we know.

Back to the start,
We say
As we become
lost and astray,
Tired and drained,
At the tasks thrown at us today.
Or perhaps day one
For some,
Feeling less than alive,
We sink and thrive,
All at the same time.

What a strange way to survive.

Back to that feeling,
We pray,
That it goes away
one day.
Or perhaps not,
As we sink and rot,
In the wounds and woes
Life has thrown and tossed,
To make us feel lost,
And truly unknown.

Or perhaps we are content
In life as it is now.
How wonderful it would be
For all to feel the same,
The relaxing happiness
That we strive for each day.
We pray and fret,
And live to forget
Of the thoughts that keep us
locked in
And afraid.

But as humans we grow,
Live through the flow,
Of light and darkness,
For the awaiting goal.
To finally feel at home,
Content with the flow,
Of constant changes
To our mind and soul.
But we live and thrive,
Breathe and survive,

For what a strange way we live in this life.

From past heartbreak,
I learned to amend,

Learned to make
The best of a situation,

Even accepting and
Starting off as friends.

Still learning to move on
From a past so complicated,

I keep trying my best to not
get lost in the devastation,

Please excuse the infatuation,
I get lost in my head.

I promise I'm trying my best to
not get so fixated,

Give me some patience
And grace,

Because I don't want to
Push you away again.

Just know that I'm grateful,
More than okay,

Starting off as just friends.

Dear all,
A life lived is a task
No man can carry alone.

Life is a choice,
A choice we did not make.
But alas
We face the burden,
Once created and shaped.

We only make a turn
When our minds are at stake,
When life becomes hate ,
When happiness arrives late.

Some we lose
In the crisis of thought.
Dropping their weapons
To the battle
they have fought.

I understand you
Lost one,
For your vision is clear.
Your understanding of life
Is getting harder to bear.

Life is a challenge,
I shall not disagree.
But you are strong and willing
To trudge a treacherous sea.

I promise you lost ones
That life is a story.
One that will provide you
With an ending of glory.

Put trust in yourself ,
As you have given your all.
Life will reward you,
But we must take the fall.

Life is no straight road,
It entails many bends,
But listen to my words
Sweet souls,
As you have not reached your ends.

For you I would take a bullet
Shot straight from the gun.
I would stand you aside
While I usher you to run.
I would slowly die
In a cloudy haze,
Knowing your the last thought
On my dying day.

For you I would bear your woes,
Until my mind goes astray.
Until my heart can't take it,
But for you I would stay.
I would take your hand
And place it in mine,
Hold my other to your skin
And stare in your eyes.

I would hold you gently,
Until you trust the touch you feel.
Put my hand on your face,
The other to your waist,
To show you this is real.

For I would do more than you imagine,
As these words speak no volume
To the passion
That I would give.
I would do more than words,
My sweet flower,
For no man like you seems to live.

But alas,
My lover,
You and I must wait.
As our lives
As we uncovered,
Are ten thousand miles away.

Eat your shame
It doesn’t go away
Regurgitate
like you’re overweight
You need more meat
on your body to hate

She promised to **** him off
in the parking lot
for her drink of choice
She was far too young
for either one
but had nothing left to lose

Swallow your pride
It doesn’t go down easy
Don’t let him see you
cringe in disgust
You need more secrets
to hate yourself for

Cut your skin
wide open
Underneath even you know
you’re worth more
It can only get better
and I don’t take it for granted

Uncomfortable in her skin
unless it was naked
No confidence in
a word she said
unless they were slurred
So she ate her shame
every ******* day
She swallowed her pride
and kept her promises
It all cut her skin wide open