Free inside the room allowed to lock
However such pleasures bring traps
Becoming isolated and forgetful
Not in the sense of the small things
Rather going shopping and forgetting the list
-
Had to make do with memory
Remembering the vegetables was easy
The miscellaneous items were fruitless
Just had to eyeball the aisles  
Keep my head down in case spotted by someone familiarly unpleasant  
-
A pretty girl from school worked at the shop
Wanted to see if she was still as beautiful
However that made me nervous
Why couldn’t everything be like the vegetables?
Made my way to checkout
-
Headed home with heavy bags
Trying to be careful as to not crush anything
Which reminded me with a pang
Forgot to buy the ****** eggs!
Mood soured as that was my breakfast
Too late to head back that would be embarrassing
What if the girl saw me and made for an entirely avoidable kerfuffle
-
Now awkwardly thinking what to have for breakfast
Arrived just outside my doorstep
The next door neighbour to the left was just leaving
How unfortunate and horrific
We asked each other how we were and conversely felt quite pleasant
Vented about my eggs fiasco which was met with love
My neighbour went inside and bought out a chicken

there were worlds in my eyes that no one else could see....
they called me a dreamer, the way I would imagine the world not as it's truly seen
I was anything but....
I was set apart
always running in circles as they all think it's so easy
but I was living in a non reality
my mind spoke to loud
they have no idea how everything is so hard.

stray thought: hard earned wisdom

is there any other kind?

the easy come ~ easy go kind,
kinda never quite sticks around
long enough to make an
indentation like facts, kinda like
factuals memorized for a school test,
gone so quick you never truly
had them to keep, beyond the
inevitable ending by a bell
ringing

true learning means the earning,
the earning is hard, painful, oft,
gained usually at greatly
but not~too~cheap a cost
which makes sense,
long,
or even short, 
knowing, comprehending, & remembering

can created to be
savored, favored, and welcomed
each time from the recesses it
comes unconsciously summoned

no one more surprised
than you!
at the value of
a memory precision tooled,
ready, willing and able,
to be re~loved when
the heart doth summon

like the face of the one who got away....

You are the oil above
After I had found my level

stray thought: hard earned wisdom

is there any other kind?

the easy come easy go kind
kinda never sticks around
long enough to make an
indentation just like facts
memorized for a school test
gone so quick you never truly
had them to keep, beyond the
inevitable ending by a bell ringing

the earning is hard, painful oft,
gained usually at great cost
which makes sense, long,
or even short,  created to be
savored, favored, and welcomed
every time it from recesses it
comes unconsciously summoned


but never confuse smarts
with wisdom,
snarts (snarky smarts)
can be obtained, purchased,
but wisdom is always
and only
    hard e a r n e d

These emotions are powerful they surge right  through my chest
Chasing them around room they suddenly infest
First silent as they swirl between you and I
It doesn't take long for them to multiply
Soon they swarm every object we see
Easy to play victim instead of trying to agree
But there are zero casualties because we aren't at war
Blindness makes me wonder what we're doing this for
You think righteously but you couldn't be more wrong
Baseless accusations you build argument upon
Just the latest in series of false beliefs you create
Sick the way your perspective chooses to exaggerate
My veins get so hot blood begins to boil
Shieldless facing remarks insisting I'm not loyal
Onyx pupils boring holes my direction
Void between us growing as you describe each imperfection
Systematically pulling apart every sentence dared to speak
Pre-existing wounds deepening until blood starts to leak
Until becoming so quiet you could hear our hearts beating
Slowly breaking
Carefully retreating
Uneasiness creeping like a draft under the door
Whispering
"Things never will be as good as they were before"
These helpless doubts wander through skull all night
Impossible questions kept awake til morning's light
Until poor soul is weighed down by despair
Tears blur my vision
Uncertainty put into my stare
My worrying in vain because it doesn't change anything
Non-existent compassion in your movements and it stings
Apparently don't have enough empathy to spare
Tangle up sanity by showing how little you care
While absorbing tension permeating air like a sponge
Hopes now flattened on the floor where they plunged
Words discarded like empty cola cans
Insults echoing like clang of pots and pans
From head to toe happiness is now crushed
Cuts could heal if only our fingertips brushed
Delicate balance of respect instantly would be restored
Neck removed from guillotine if you'd lower your sword
I don't encourage tables to turn
Just want us to both sit down
Pull knives out each other's backs and erase each frown
I wish us both to wear matching expressions of joy
Our feelings reset to a setting where our opinions didn't annoy
But for that to happen a gigantic amount of willpower is required
Fear we are not soft enough for animosity to permanently retire
But honestly hate distance between skin more than I'll ever admit
The path our steps are walking on is one I refuse to quit
I'll pour more energy into every single action I do for you
Even wasted at least my intentions are true
I'll collect memories and box up special moments we had
Store somewhere deep within to bask in when I'm sad
This might be hard this second but I have faith it won't last long
We can solve problems because our love is pure and strong

It's easy to break.
It's easy to fall.
It's easy to feel like you've hit a wall.
It's easy to hurt and put up your guard,
But just because something's easy
Doesn't mean it isn't hard.