Standing there,
all tall and handsome.
Laughing with your friends,
who all adore you.
In class you're one of the smartest,
always answering questions right.
All the girls admire you
and they all want to be with you.
Even I,
but I know I could never have you
because you are Mr. Impossible For Me.

it took me 365 days
  to get over you

guess now I'm back to square one

under slime that sticks
between hairs and fingers
you felt stuck between
the Pontiac
and my duvet
so with a trudge
through oceans of time
and cracks on the pavemnt
leading the apartment and my hand
to your rainboots
and wet smile and bright pink umbrella
with too much vitality
for this neighborhood
to handle you were scooped
up by my arms
and with raindrop pellets
landing awkwardly
between nostrils
and between eyebrows
and through the sticky weight
of break-up politics
I took you back to our bed.

Do you know what it's like
To walk down these halls
And to be judged constantly by the cool kids?

If your shirt and pants are yesterday's news
So are you

I actually
Feel like crying
Everytime
They say that I dress like a ****

I know it shouldn't bother me
But it does

It's so hard to ignore some people
They just never stop bashing you

When I get nervous and shaky
I feel like I want to throw up

They still laugh
I try hard to smile
Fake

Then you get the
Oh be real
You don't need make up
You're beautiful without it

That's not true
And I may sound like a broken record sometimes
And my story's not a Cinderella happy ending

Still stuck with the bossy sisters
And the wicked witch of a mother
Yeah

Stories don't end like that people
And poems don't sound that perfect
I can tell they're fake
Because I can't actually apply it to my life
Without looking like a complete idiot

Get it?

So if I so happen to ignore some kids that are picking on me
And you walk in
And ask me why I hate them
When they're being so nice

Shut up
Just
Shut up

You're a guy
You don't get girls
They
Are

Mean

Huh
You don't get it

Whatever

I walk away

You ask
Them
What's wrong with me

They lie
You believe their sweet lies
So
Typical

Grow a brain
Use it
For more
Than
Just
Staring
At
My

Eyes

Up
Here

Not
Possible
To
Expl­ain
This
To
A
Guy

Wasting
My
Time

Get it?

Nope

How many times do I have to explain myself to you
Infinity?

You're suppose to have the bigger brain here
But from what I'm seeing
You never even use one percent of it

Now
Comes
The
Mean
Girls

They will hunt you down
Even when you're
In the bathroom
Washing your hands
And checking your face

Life
*****

Just wait
Until
It's your turn

You're lucky
Guys

Just kidding
I'm fine

NOT!!!!

You fall for these boys who won't be there for you
I was there from day one
You passed me like I'm just trash
**** I'm tired of everything and everyone
Those guys that are flashing are the same ones that are gonna leave when you have a child.
They'll disappear and you wonder to yourself, "where are all the good guys?"
I was always there now I'm gone
I'll find someone that loves me for me
I'll find someone better than you
You're the piece of trash that no one wants
Now I see you looking at me, but i pass you by like you're trash.

You know what kind of guy I want?
Preferably a guy in high school
A guy who's only hobbies don't include
drinking and smoking and getting high
who hasn't fallen into that trap
and I mean really, that's so f!cking mainstream
but those are more prerequisites I guess
The REAL type of guy I want
is a guy who breaks down my walls
because honestly
I have never let a guy in
and told him my secrets
and I never will, immediately
but a guy who keeps pushing
kindly and politely,
but manages to break down my walls.
entirely.
enough for me to show him my darker side.
because not everyone realizes I have one
but for a boy
to actually succeed in breaking down
the walls I always put up.

too bad that will never happen.
after all, why would they care enough
to even try.

Thanks.
For calling me all those pretty things
everyday
for months
and months
being the center of my thoughts and conversations
being the guy I tell my friends about
because I have never liked a guy the way I like you
and no guy has ever liked me before at all
you are pretty much beyond out of my league
and yet somehow here we are
telling me you want to take me on a picnic
being so wonderful
being a writer and a poet
being gorgeous and handsome
being wonderful
such a wonderful person
making me fall for you
then after WASTING
so many months of my time
you HUMILIATE me
when I have to call my friends
and admit to them
that you texted me
and told me you were in love
with some other girl
in "love" my ***.
Please.
Don't make me laugh.
...or cry.
:(

I met her by the way
she is the mother of all *******
and also doesn't wear actual shirts
just these loose pieces of fabric with slits along the sides
that show everything
that she refers to as a top
I've seen bikinis that are more modest
but whatever
I'm just in a good mood
because you dropped me
so quickly
like it was nothing
and watched me fall
all my friends sharpened their battleaxes
and called you all sorts of colorful things
but I was still sad and disappointed
but I am in a good mood
you know why?
Today I saw her making out with this guy
she is either dating him and NOT dating you
so you lost her
or she is cheating on you
so HA
now you know how it feels to be replaced
you **** well better not try and get me back
'cause now I realize
back before you let me go
I thought I didn't deserve you
because you were so wonderful
and I was worthless
now I know I was right
I don't deserve you
because no matter how much I loathe myself
and I really do
Even I don't deserve
a worthless waste of space player like you

mixture of messy, unstable. chaos written al over him.

how did i miss the departure signs¿¿

I will always cherish, preserve, and remember
Every moment that we spent together
Feelings remained internally lasting forever
Enchanting like a rose in a stormy weather
Embracing my body with your spiritual eyes
My love for you cries, and never dies
My first love the chosen one, my heart pounded
Stayed grounded, for you asking myself why you?
Something about you, captivated my soul
Started loosing self control, my heart went out of control
A seed you planted inside me, slowly beginning to grow
It was a beautiful feeling, closing in your presence
Didnt make any sense to me, as these feelings grew tense
Couldnt explain, I was going insane, your love infused Inevitable pain I gained, your beautys unmatched
Awakening arousal, happiness was my proposal
Your eyes, pink powdered cheeks, pretty lips, nice hips,
Long black hair well taken care everyone stares,
You can not compare, well prepared, clean unique, never Dressing messy, always humble, truly simple, classy sassy
Showing your shining smile, I notice cute dimple, clear without a wrinkle, sweet like candy sprinkles,
Specially gifted never cared what they thought of you
Keeping it true, if only you knew, everything grew,
Ever since I left you alone, my heart formed limestone
Through my veins, to the depths of my bones
I wish we were near reunited, a spark you've ignited
Hoping you will understand & Forever Im your friend
Im sorry for all the tears, my absence through the years, if You need me I promise ill be here, erasing all your fears, Making sure they vanish, quickly disappear My dear, ill do anything to make you smile, for a while At your house learning concepts from the bible, drinking Hot coffee or hot chocolate, donuts hanging out late night, Oh how can I forget, neither will I regret, all those times Everything was fine, loving you was a crime, praying one Day you'll be mine, cuz your my one of a kind <3...

This is a procession of bodies.
Him on the couch, right next to me tonuge stuck too far down.
You there too far away. Too confusing. Too much too anything. Too little everything.
Another stuck somewhere in the middle. Cute and sweet and here for now.
One right at my fingertips. A friend. A must have filled with so much hope.
Another too clingy, without spark. In no certain place at all.

And there will be others...  I think.
But what I have learned,
body after body,
Is that this is how the procession takes place.