I wish i could just let it out, all my fears are just crystalized inside me
My sentences are longer, words shorter, the length doesn't matter
I hold my breathe, take it in, the scene before me happening again
I leave quickly, my heart beating, my fear raising, my hands shaking
I want to forget seeing that, suffering on another's hand, a red spot
On the cheek of someone who wants to forget, I want to forget
I don't want the bonds of society holding me down, nor the words
I don't want the judge to look at me and say "guilty" to my face
I stand in winter, stand in ice, in the frost crawling up, freezing me
To this place I stand, alone and cold, frightened of what's ahead,
I can't go home, as i don't know where it is anymore, i'm alone
I sit on a staircase outside an apartment, sidewalk barren
Cars brushing by, quick and heavy, one step and the end of my story
I don't want to die, but i don't want to live, can't you understand?
And if i ever take that stand, in front of that judge to say my part,
What would i ever say, what would i ever do, if its my crime,
but if it's not my crime entirely, taking the stand as alone as ever,
My partner gone, the room empty, just the judge and me, alone then
So if that judge does look at me and says "innocent", what would i do
Would i just go free, back to plain ,back to normal, and idiotic sayings
I hope not, because, I am guilty as everyone else is, of pain and lies
Blood and sweat, tears strolling down, feeling emotionless,
We have all felt that moment, of all these combined,
My fears are shared by society, shredded by people, laughed at
I'm scared of myself, being myself, look at others with complete truth
So i will never raise my hand, i won't speak or lie or care,
because my fear is just too great, my life is just too small
It's so small, so incomplete, i feel so gone, so alone
Standing on the sidewalk, moving slow and mournful,
reaching the edge, the curve, the *****, the mountain to climb
If i step into the lane, the cars, would i be forgotten, like others
Would i be like the rain that comes down and ,we notice it sure,
But forget what it gives us, would i just be the puddle after
would i be an ad in the newspaper claiming a sad tale,
I'd just be a story to tell to people about the community,
Forgotten like half of history, lied about by people who didn't know
I'd be just a story afterwards, but if i turn and walk down the street
Would i ever succeed at something, make my way to the courthouse
and say to that judge on the podium, "You don't get to decide"
what would happen, to me, to others, to us as people entirely,
And so i walk on, sludging through everyday life, concerned
Yes, i may trip and stay down for a few minutes,
but i will get up and walk on until i get to that courthouse,
And am able to say my piece to the judge
as we all are the problem
and i would say,
"Judge, we are all guilty"

I Fumble through the dark
Hopeless.            Stray dog.
I lie there in constant thought. of
You.

Found myself by rambling
through carefully spoken paragraphs,
flattering speeches and romantic monologues.
but they are nothing, without
You.

Nothing, after all
That's all that I ever was to
You.
So I'll be nothing, I am silence…
Yet I hear your piercing whispers!
I am steeled against myself.
But your knife plunges into my empty chest.
Who is guilty of the sin in the end?!

Me.