What can you do
When you can't give someone a third of what they deserve?
Where can you find some more happiness to fill their eyes?
Why does this seem to happen to me all the time? I meet someone amazing and yet I still feel like I'm not worth anyone's time?

But enough with the self deprecation
For once my heart and head are United, unlike the nations
But this sensation, this feeling won't go away like pain without aspirin or julie Andrew's in a shop for sashes

What can you do? Leave it all on the table and hope they grab it

I hope that this doesn't last forever
and I get used to fully being alone.

I hope I forget how nice it is to be touched,
to be held, to be desired.
I hope I forget and never remember.

Because I can't do this anymore.
I sleep too much, I don't eat,
I hate the way I look (more so).

I'm jealous but bordering on envious.
I want to be what people want me to be
but I am not going to compromise what little of me I have left.

So please, if anything that has the power to help is listening....

I don't want to do this anymore.

need a napkin up in this joint,
my eyes are ******' waterin'. i didn't agree to this!
jail cells are smaller than i would have thought.
well, i ******' lived to tell my tale
and, by god, i'd die to tell it, too.

turn that ******' piano music down, man.
no wait, that ****'s good. turn it up.
piano manages to hit that vein in me
not one that exists on the outside
doesn't even ******' pulse.
it's like a shot directly to my bloodstream
but one that exists in my soul.
man, you'd THINK it'd ******' hurt
but it's euphoric, dude, and i don't use that word lightly.
words are meant to be used
in a way i don't think they're used anymore.
all these swears, like, calm down!
****, ****, **** (well, ****'s ***** ****), etc.
and i'm over here, just followin' along
i may be dumb but i ain't stupid enough
to ignore the pushing current.

i wish i could yell so ******' loudly, man.
i don't get that opportunity enough, y'know?
just to shout...someone's gonna ******' call the police.
oh, and i guess they did, haha.
******* get served, i suppose.

where's my napkin, please?
a tissue would do, too.
just need something to wipe
away the ******' filter that spreads
over my eyes...like a foggy day.
you ever go out late or early
and see fog cover the place
like a ******' horror movie?
i love that ****. it's calming.

where did it go?
no, not you. obviously.
i meant.....the past.
it can't just disappear forever, right?
'cause that's ******' dumb.
it has to go SOMEWHERE.
when i lose my memories
(which i will, and so will you)
where will they go?
i don't want to lose
myself to time.
it's a battle i know i won't win
but i bother anyway.
create that ******' legacy, y'know?

why am i here?
that's a good ******' question, dude.
i committed the worst crime of all...

i ******' lost myself.
i put up pictures everywhere;
"have you seen this person?"
many people called me
but none were helpful
and it took ******' ages
before i realized what had happened.
and i'm ashamed to admit it, i mean,
it's a dastardly crime to have done.

see, i ******' murdered myself.
it was an accident, i swear!
and you could laugh, and say i'm right here,
but i'm not.
well, i mean, i am.
but it's not ME.
i thought i had lost myself
(which i did, i mean)
but i was ******' certain i could find me again.
what comes up must come down, right?

i realized too late what i did...

and now i'm gone forever.

keep yourself close,
and don't ******' look away,
not even for an instant.
if you lose yourself
you may never find
what was ever again.
time is ******' cruel,
and it will forever conquer.

now, can i please get that tissue?

:-)

Do you ever look back at a place and this nostalgic feeling washes over you like waves crashing onto the sand at a beach

It ***** to go through a phase of remembrance just because your eyes repeats the incident over, over and over again

It's ******* painful to have to go through something like having to remember a distinct memory of an incident while passing by

I hope it doesn't happen to you when you pass by the place I sat at as you said I don't mean anything to you