And here you see the forlorn man
facing backwards along his span of years
critiquing each time of neglect
confronting past decisions with a sneer
lamenting the decades of regret
should have been more
could have been better
held on too tight with grasping claw
let go that which he ignored
mistakes strangling forward thought
so trapped and caught at last
before the end already stopped
endlessly cycling through the past
standing stationary on the road of life
face down in mud on the verge
screaming at others, not this way!
ignored perhaps pitied
if thought of at all
even in his own mind
for he is forlorn.

Hearken ye and listen to the call of the

drums, two hearts pounding in unison as if

joined at the hips, and the lips, while the hormones

pump you through the processing station of

life, and love, and a white picket fence, and a house like a

dream, which is what this has been from the start:

One drum, beating

alone.

Do not talk of the honey I pickled in your light bulbs

They do not have the map to help us reach The Alps

Just talk of the hungry flower growing on my lungs

At least they have the address to the hut on my palms

That’s drawn by the little girl who feasted on the chalks

The butterflies long ago planted along in their pulse.


Quick,  


Incinerate the 1800s post-mortem portraits

In black light's faked midnight perfumes

For you are my forlorn apostrophe high on gas

That might ask questions while telling us your tales

Or reluctantly whisper ****** things about Laqus

Who is wasting us to the wistful hell flowers.

The merry go round sailed around on its rusty, squealing hinges. I could feel the chipped paint beneath my fingers over the metal bars serving as handle holds. The platform ridged to better stay on. My old friend swung into view among the blurring trees and swing set. He looked aged, weathered, with his unruly hair sticking in places by sweat and the light rain that had begun. It needed to be cut back above his ears. Though this way I could braid it, or let it curl around my fingers.
My laugh rang out against the cloudy playground as I went around one more time. His answered, a lofty, deep-set sound. I could hear his shoes squelch in the muddy rut around the merry go round. It wasn’t going as fast as I felt it was, but I couldn’t care less. Watching the muscles of his arms heave it before he began in a run and hopped on gave me a high. To me, we were flying. We could be superglued here forever and I’d never care. Even as my shirt began to cling as the weather worsened.
Then the weight of his sudden landing brought the contraption to lurch, then slow, and we fell as a heap on its side. “Just one more time!” I remember pleading between breaths, his heavy and gaping. His green eyes flashed, incredulous at the idea.
“It’s your turn!” he bellowed. Though we both knew I hadn’t the strength to turn it, much less with him on it. My stomach was starting to flop even as I thought about giving it a go.

I stood guard,
Rigid,unwavering.
I watched over,
Making sure nothing passed.

Dark was the night,
And as long as I could remember.
I stood guard right at the boundary,
Nothing should pass in, and nothing could go out.

It started full of motivation,
That I could do this.
But the sun never seemed to rise,
The Night never seemed to end.

But I could never let my guard down,
And I waited, determined.
Soon the dark started to pinch my eyes,
The absence of light started to hurt.

Oh for the morning I yearned,
But it never came.
And I wished something would indeed happen,
Although that was exactly what I stood guard against.

The longer I stood, the more I yearned,
To stop guard, to just let the walls take care of themselves.
And then when I was least expecting it,
You came.

You smiled, and although it was dark,
I felt light creep and linger in that dark world.
And I stood stunned, not ready for this,
And you came closer , and everything lit up.

The closer you came, the more I lost my senses,
I didn't need to guard anymore,
The walls didn't matter,
I didn't want the light to go away.

And you came closer and closer,
And walked past the walls,
Pulling me in with you,
And there was no more darkness.

No more walls, no more waiting,
No guarding.
And as amazing as your entry was,
You stood up and left.

I still feel how our fingers lingered at the last touch,
How I wished you didn't leave.
But you did leave,
And left the world dark again.

The walls were all broken down,
And the dark was three times as dark now.
It was a desolate world,
Full of helplessness and misery.

And I had to build the walls higher now,
Because you trespassed,
You trespassed into the breaches, the threshold of my heart, my soul,
After I allowed you in, and took it all away.

And now here I stand, standing guard again.
In front of higher walls, and a more watchful eye.
In a darker world, with no morning,
Because too much was taken, and too little left.

*You trespassed.

He woke up from a dream today,
To gaze sight at the break of dawn,
A part of his life gone for the day,
As the morning dew drops on the lawn

Precious memories mingled with emotions,
As the night before played in his mind,
A beauty that needs full devotion,
The red tulip blooms for his kind

Tears fill his dazed eyes,
A thought lingers for that touch,
This heart twisted with cries,
His mortal love for a soul he has not seen much

The dark clouds sweep in gracefully,
Announcing the fall of the mighty rain,
This soul sits in the corner of despair,
Afraid of that grey world of calamity

The windowpane becomes blurry,
And so do his visions of her fade away,
In the cold midnight chill,
Leaving the darkness to prevail

He kneels down by his bed,
Gazing up at the darkened skies,
The moon shining bright,
And the stars twinkling brighter

He prays to the nightfall,
As his ravenous beauty dances with the stars,
Her shadow among the clouds,
An apparition hidden among the darkness,

This dark forlorn love,
As the sands of time change,
He remains there still,
An embodiment of his sacred feeling,
Worshiping her, day and night.

Vijaya Balan (2008)