Ill always be the fool,  throwing my heart in the air hoping you catch it when it falls.

i feel myself falling deeper
as i look into your blue eyes.
i know i should look away,
yet something is telling me to stay.
my heart waits desperately,
thinking maybe something will happen.
but the stupid truth is that you don't see me.
you've never seen me.
i made up a life with you in my head,
replaying all the things my brain thinks you've said.
i know it's pathetic and i will admit it,
that i'm the fool.
i'm drowning as i wait here,
waiting for you to pull me out.
but you don't,
and you won't.
because i'm not the girl you want.
i see you with her,
you look happy.
all i've ever wanted was to see you smile,
so why does that smile make me so sad?
i feel foolish.
foolish for loving you.
foolish for wanting someone who will never want me.
but most of all,
i'm foolish for continuing to wait for you in hopes that you'll be foolish too.

I thought you cared
I thought you wanted me to explain
I thought you cared
But I am no longer worth the same
Your actions have spoken
Priorities have changed
Not a **** question
You laughed in my face
Ignored the whole issue
You sent meaningless phrases
And I'm left thinking
Was this all one sided?

How sick and foolish—
Just a drop—
And I now taste despair.
Feel it crawling inside:
Dark and poisonous
Like your humanity.
But oh! How I shall fight!
To be freed of your mess
And shackles.
Until I can laugh at your face
For all the pain,
You forced me to swallow