Life before you; wasn't living.

I can't breathe again

I. centipede:
-
They come from both directions and it doesn't take long
for me to realize that they've figured me out.
My mind was fast, but not as swift as the hands
of five-hundred outreaching hands; one angry crowd.
Grabbing at limbs, low and high, they don't waste a second
before tearing me in every direction; at least the cardinal four.
My mind takes flight, leaves fancy, but not before
I get in one last swear, and one last spittle in their faces.

II. snake
-
Tail and head aren't in sync this morning, I tell ya.
No rattle, no bite, just a lot of traffic and heat shimmers
in the one place I don't need to be today.
The people here act like they don't know me,
but they still turn their noses up when I empty my mug.
The waitress answers when spoken to,
but just stares in the time in between wheezing breaths.
I've got to get out of this county, this state.

III. scorpion
-
Ronny hasn't been on a roof since a couple years after we got married.
He wrapped his ankle in some gutters and took a spill;
his thigh popped right out of it's socket and he just dangled
like some kind of prize in one of those crane games.
Doctor says he can still have kids, and I know he can still get it up
from how he watches that ****** **** on t.v.
But he wont touch me; hasn't in fifteen months, I've counted.
He's in for a surprise once the settlement clears.

IV. lizard
-
Wallflowers never get anywhere with their mouths sewn shut
and I cut my stitches well before my teens;
I got what I needed and I made sure of it.
But there is something to be gained from
basking in the naivety of youth and ignorance.
Trouble doesn't set in as well, and boredom comes
as some kind of waiting period, rather than the norm.
These bars are a reminder of why they don't let me make the rules.

V. toad
-
Invulnerable, incontestable, unphasable, archetype.
I listen for the right words to drop the shields,
but I'm only met with the silence that accompanies
asphyxiation through means of wet wax paper.
The touch of phantoms tingle along my skeleton's core
telling me the time for lollygagging has long since passed.
Stand up, giant, you're running hot and the moon
keeps calling out, "follow the lit road home".

This was never my career to take
But I'm stuck here and those monsters are to blame
Five nights probably isn't so bad,
But I'm pushing all the buttons and they're making me mad
I really need to get out of here.
Hopefully whatever I do, they won't ever hear
Cause what if I don't have the power anymore?
They'll run and peek inside the doors
And if they ever see what's inside
What could happen next can never be denied
They know I'm not strong, I have weak defenses
And they know how to make me reach my limit
Where the metal will touch and destroy my skin
And they stuff me into a suit, force me to fit in

Classic fairy tales
Always start with once upon a time
Then somewhere a princess is put in danger
A little later her knight in shinning armor
Comes riding in
Saves her
They live happily ever after.

**** that.

I never enjoyed those stories
I never understood why the princess didn't help herself
I always resolved to never need saving
And yet, I never realized why they were always saved
Because humans need each other
I need to be saved.

Not in the knight in shining armor way
But I need someone to be there
I need someone to hold me
When night comes
At three am when I'm screaming at myself
At four am when I'm crying in my bathroom floor
At five am when I pass out and have nightmares
At six am when I wake up exhausted
At six pm when I come home and collapse

I never wanted to be that damsel in distress
But I never realized that in order to heal
Someone has to push me.

- r.y.s