There’s no way that my being is defined by clockworks, sure we see time fly by and things come and go
But my being isn’t defined by that amount I know, I refuse to let my time be dictated by the endless tick-tocks
I can decide when to face anything and everything when I want to, and that is not destiny casting a choice at me
Credit is given where credit is due, I have more things I need to do, and so little...
Time? No, I have so much time and so little freedom to get it done, I would love to sit and play, and laugh the day away
Although there is a balance that creates an income, of questions and I don’t have answers until I am presented
self-control: guilt, ignorance: awareness, doubt: confidence,

[I am going to make a lot of changes, sorry if you get left behind in the storm. The ocean is a provider, and I realized I haven’t been left out to drown...but to learn to swim on my own. I forgive everyone who has recently done things to me and made me feel a certain way. I forgive you but won’t forget.]

I am here on this earth, created by God.
I am here to live a life that isn’t just guided by Jesus, but to enjoy the gift given to all
I am here to make mistakes, sometimes I’ll fall,
I am a man and will provide and stand up, and be tall,
I am fighting so much because what I want isn’t mine,
I am going to get it soon, I image it daily
I am visualizing the day you might find me
Nowhere close to the past behind me
I am a being with so much potential
And will always be riding the flow of the ocean as far as she’ll take me.

Tonight's the night
We fight or die
And you can bet
It will be violent
But the aggression
That we have to bring
Is the only chance we have
To make a change.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

Today there are no certainties
From the day my mom gave birth to me
As a child so young and free
I never knew what life held for me

As the days turn into years
My innocents turned into fears
I found that life was full of pain
And hurt and suffering all the same

I tried and tried to find my way
But misery was there to stay
The things of love and happiness
My dad told me would be a bliss

But years have slowly passed me buy
And the things I’ve lost just makes me cry
I think of all the lonely nights
And all the ugly violent fights

The many nights I cried in pain
For tomorrow it would be the same
The screaming shouting, ugly words
You’ll never know how much it hurts

The day we meet
I’ll never forget
Your gentle words and loving ways
How I pray there where there to stay

To calm my fears
And wipe my tears
To show me love
For all the years

But sadly as the months went by
I realized it’s all a lie
The happy home and tenderness
The sweet caress and gentleness

I sit and wonder what went wrong
It hasn't been that very long
Since the day I said good bye
And realized it was all a lie

How can someone so sweet and dear
Cause me so much pain and fear
You call and say you love me so
Do you really? I want to know

My heart was broken long ago
Can you remember you should know?
I turned around and left that day
And told myself it’s all okay

Three month later who should call
It was you in pieces, I took the fall
You were so down and miserable
And said you loved me most of all

Because I gave my heart to you
And it was a love so dear and true
So once again I took you back
Cause strength and pride I sure did lack

It wasn't long until again
Fighting, screaming lots of pain
Now it’s many years gone bye
And once again i say goodbye

But still you call me all the time
And say you love me more each time
How did it go so very wrong?
How did we miss it all along?

Why could we not find piece my dear?
Why did you listen but never hear?
But sadly now I have to say
I cannot take another day

Of broken dreams and a broken heart
And lonely nights we sleep apart
As I sit here thinking back
It was my dignity that I lacked

I love you to
If you only knew
But now it’s over I have to say
But you’ll go on and be okay

Now a teenager,
battling against the world,
fighting 'til the end

oo nga eh, nakakapagod.
masakit 'di ba?
hindi lang ikaw.
'wag kang hahanap
ng dahilan para sumuko
marami na ang nagtagumpay
at nakasulat ang pangalan mo
sa talaan ng mga susunod pa
asahan mo na
mas lalo pang hihirap
mas lalo pang sasakit
ngunit tumayo ka d'yan dahil...


                                          
           ­                                             

kakayanin mo!

I've read the stories of people who have given up
Dont be discouraged things can always look up
But once you dip and you dip really low
Someone will notice but no one will know
You can go day by day and no one will see
That there is a battle you are tired of fighting
You've already lost is how it may seem
But trust me dear you are winning
By fighting your exhaustion with you tears
No one will see your sadness or fear
Just keep it up and you will see
That if no one notices then you are free
You cry for attention so someone will take your place
But you mustn't give up you've earned your space
You're doing it right
by living your life
We all make mistakes
This can be seen a space for you always will be

I am just so sad
So so sad
It feels so heavy inside my chest
It feels like a fight I cannot win
Over and over again

It just wont let me go
When will it let me go
Give me a break
Let me breathe

I am too tired to tell it to stop
Stop whispering in my ear
Stop telling me what I did wrong
What I'm going to do wrong

It is drowning out everything that is good
It is telling me to be selfish
To leave
I wont
But I get tired of fighting at times
And tonight, I cannot put my shield up
I am too sad