It's upon these cold stones
Which now, I choose to sit, and wait.

Alone at sunrise, fear, hatred and of course, this synthetic 'Art of Doubt'....become me.

The ridged steps- my only companionship
the true essence of cold.

as my fingers numb, and I can barley type this out
Honestly know
I wonder how long and painful
death by ice
really must be.

Beside me; a building filled with everything I could ever ask for want or even need.

Everything.

And yet , Upon these Cold stones
I sit, just a while longer
To remember what I still have. Not mourn what I've lost.

But mainly, to be a man who doesnt deserve anything inside that wonderful, overwhelming sentimental house. Be it people, possessions even the animals-on those cold steps of reality-he deserves where he rests.
They all deserve more than what I thought I could haven given them.
More than this.
I am so sorry Dad.
Im very sorry Mom.

Thank you, for these cold stones.  You will never understand the gratitude, which one day
I must leave behind,
of all the these priceless blessings.

But for now
It's upon these
Oh so cold, disgracelesss stones- you and me are too alike
melted with liquid burned and with fire, me and these cold stones
know true
desperation.

You won’t want to see me now
But I would hold your hand
If you wanted a way out of your tower
That you’ve made out of the sand

And the white horses run
And the white horses run

Have you found some happiness?
Or love next to the sea?
I know it’s what you always wanted
To feel like you are free

And her heart hears the drums
And her heart hears the drums

What price have you had to pay?
For a windowless view?
Remember it’s just sand you’ve built
And your wildness can’t be subdued

And grief she’ll become
And grief she’ll become

She’s always happiest on the run

Let’s start with the obvious

-We did not choose each other as family members.
-As close as everyone should be, we are not because of petty problems and other trivial things that shouldn’t matter.
-The ones who say we should be close are the main ones causing unnecessary division.
-We cry together more than we ever laughed together.

Let’s move to the facts

-Life is short.
-That anger you are holding against whoever is something you’ll have to one day answer for.
-A relationship should not be one-sided. If they reach out to you, it does not hurt to return the favor.
-You can feel how you feel about a situation, but you do not need to get in the middle of it.

Let’s move to the hard truth

-Family reunions happen at funerals.
-A family get-together is not a wrestling match neither a reality show with cameras.
-Everyone needs to let old hurt go and break generational curses.
-The word family had meaning to it, but now it is merely a loose term.
-Blood was thicker than water, but it dries up quicker than a small rain puddle.

And we were supposed to be all we had.
Do better.

#OWL'******br>

Flowers lost in measure
At an outstretched hour
Born sightless in the once
Sacrosanct hedgerows
Picked belatedly

--And invisibly so--

Taken from their family
To unconditional surrender
Upon a cold stark table
Where those assembled
Finished off love with their meal

--And invisibly so--

If I once again saw the sullen and timeworn eyes resting not quite comfortably beneath his meager gray mane

I would be ever so quick to believe that his all too familiar, yet paternally foreign face has surely seen better days

Days which I for many a nights had precariously pondered the choice I had made

To not chase but to erase such a great yet fleeting charade

What I once held onto dearly as a weekly escape, a glorious escapade we could never sustain

I was the calm, you were the storm
I'd say too much and you'd perform

I can't sing, you won't sleep
The bond won't fade and tries to creep

I still love, you still hate
I thought I saw hope and took the bait

I have grieved, you won't see
Just how much you mean to me

I hear your name, you won't say mine
You broke my heart so I took your shine

You'd never say it, I wouldn't know what for
No one saw me crying on the bedroom floor