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Mikoarenas Oct 2015
I've always been scared of the new beginning that never comes.
The endless thoughts of "Is it time?"
Little Worthless hope.

Time passes dime by dime.
Age grows one by one.
Till time runs out and you think your last thought.
"Is it time?"

Date, February 10th, 2025.
Failed the promise I made myself freshman year.
"Promise me you'll make it till you're 30"

No one to blame but myself.
My journey had ended.
It was my time.
10 minute poem, hope you like it :/
Cat Fiske Sep 2015
you were supposed to be everything,
more than anyone,
but all he is to us now,
is the nothing we feel as we breath,
like it's not a big deal to take in air,
like it's not a big deal to live,
for anything or for everything,
and if you don't have the love and support staring in his eyes,
failed experiment 625,
was made to be unsuccessful to start,
because no one thought to show him how to use his heart.

*-Ruben failed experiment 625-
about lilo and stitch, but love, and caring for someone,
ever been haunted by things not too **** long ago you would have truly , truly
had a hard time believing existed much less, existed in your life and explained some rather terrifying aspects of your young life?

Yeah.. yeah , I am seriously having a **** dance with a haunting that has a rare ability to cause me tobe apprehensive.

Apprehensive, sword not used to subscribe many aspects of my varied and sorted self and rather annoying and perplexing personality.

So, yes. That Fun&ed; up, seriously that fun&ed; up.

And in the end of it, some how became a villain in the eyes of some that believed in me in my youth, in what at one time I thought were just very realistic dreams.

I fun*&img; wish , cause they turn out to be far from dreams far even from the safety of nightmares, for even in nightmares imagined relief in the end of the sleep and a sense of okay in the waking.

Well, that is for children and the weak of heart for where I have found my self to reside is in a broken and ever continuing desolated place where I endlessly punish myself for failings beyond my control and ability to make right in time to be of any good.

Glory, redemption, salvation and forgives .are not evergreens found in a gift shop, not broken and rusty parts left over in a salvage yard and virtually are not the soul saving and wonderful things one hopes to find at the end of ones struggled.  

No , here in this place I am becoming more aware of and a past I am slowly realizing these things seen to be non existent and in fact removed specifically for my utter enjoyment to never find. sadly, removed seemingly by my own hand.  all because I seemed to have failed a person I truly came to.love in that place or state or what ever it can be called. yeah, you can be your worst critique and your worst enemy, more than you ever know. my friends , more than you ever know.

oh lord,where do I go now, how can it be?  and date I ever ask, how could I have failed to help them so utterly miserably that I am now, only now remembering , that horror.?.   how in gods name could that happen and never think things were a normal anything ,, guess I never did, thus this lie of a life and self deprivation and punishment I placed myself in of a sham of a marriage and utter sorrow none could relieve.  and now the memories start and oh soon the pull and reeling to come, oh how I truly wish I had never been so human as to allow electricity to steal my minds memories. the treatment failed but was a success in the fact that now only I get to pay for crimes I never committed but failed to alert to it seems. what? did you think a child could really save all of us , cause we sure did. write ******* did.... and then zap I failed all too late, and goofy eyes .......
thanks thrive tablet, for continuing to duck up everything I freaking attempt to say. way to go hero. hers. even in this I find resistance to be a comforting yet ever diligent friend.
Marisa Hope Jun 2015
The last time you were here my fan was making that annoying clicking sound it always makes.
I stood up on the bed, pushed the fan, and it stopped.
You said, "see, you're an engineer too."
I just smiled as you pushed me and pinned me down to the bed.
Now it's been over a month since I saw you last.
22 days since you last texted me.
I just don't understand what you want from me.
To be honest, you made me believe that you were the one.
The one I'd let it all go to.
I pushed comfort zones,
I tried to be the right girl for you.
I guess I was wrong.
And now every time my fan makes that annoying clicking sound, I think of you, and how you told me I was an engineer too.
Except this time,
it won't stop clicking.
Andrew Switzer Jun 2015
Delete every trace,
Disguise the lingering numb,
Retreat from the race.
Alone again, naturally.
Eve Jun 2015
I'm not crying because i failed you
I'm crying because i failed myself

-fir.m
No one wanted to believe in angels anymore
because they have met so many demons

*But little did they know,
I came across a deceiver
who became a love giver.
Alex May 2015
With every cycle the clock ticks
I escape the world from the back of the room
Through letters shaped as thoughts
Staring at where once was the moon

Seems pretty okay, right?
But you can’t write your sorrows on exams.
I would need the entire alphabet.
But I’m left with four bold letters at my hands

I began writing "I’m sorry" beside my name.
Answering questions with just because
I started leaving pages empty
I truly believed that’s what i’d become

When things came to an end,
I passed, but I failed to get better.
*- At least if i had actually failed, I would have gotten a second chance.
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