The road has lost us,

we have left it, over there --


it's looking for us.

The hounds sniff the ground,

fallen leaves and moss, they are --


no longer hunting.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning
A day after Christmas
Barely had I drifted
Into a gentle slumber
Full of colourful fantasies
Involving a vehicle with thousand wheels
Than I was jolted awake
By the sheer cacophony
Of my mobile alarm
It was just the crack of dawn
And it took me a minute to realise
Why I had to be up and about
At such an odd hour
That too on a Sunday
A massive trek lay ahead of us
After a hot water bath
Followed by a cup
Full of piping hot filter coffee
We were ready to head out
In a medium-sized car
After a long drive
It was time for a break
In order to recharge our batteries
With a delightful breakfast
Full of South Indian delicacies
After yet another marathon drive
Senjikottai finally welcomed us
With open arms
After exploring the Kalyana Mahal
With its artfully decorated interiors
It was time for the real challenge
The trek up the mountains
That loomed over us
It was a daunting task, no doubt
But certainly not an impossible one
Especially if we stuck together
After all, we were family
And what does family do
But stick together
Especially when presented with a challenge?
And so the climb began
Through a winding and twisting path
Full of sand and rocks
A path with more twists
Than an Agatha Christie ****** mystery
The Sun God showed no mercy on us
With every step we took
Sweat poured out in buckets
And that was not all
The steps were so uneven
That it was a miracle
To be able to cover even a hundred metres
Without slipping on the way
And there were more hurdles
In the form of monkeys
A whole family of them
Spread around the mountains
And lying in wait
To nick some food and water
From the loaded bags
That we carried
On our already weary backs
In order to keep the monkeys at bay
We additionally had to carry sticks
Thus adding to our burden
By the time we were halfway up
The sheer weight of the task
Was already beginning to tell on us
Our limbs were aching
Our palms were shaking
Our heads were throbbing
And I wanted nothing more
Than to go home
And crash on my bed
However, we were wise enough
To take short breaks here and there
During which we refuelled
Taking gulps of water
To fill our parched throats
Moreover, the view of the countryside
Was getting better and better
And it was this
That ultimately propelled us
To carry on and finish the task
So on we marched
Sweating and panting
Slipping and stumbling
But never giving up
Till we reached the very top
And there stood before us
Gingee Fort, in all its glory
With a stunning countryside
Full of lakes and hills
Trees, roads and buildings
A sight fit to dazzle
Even the most cynical of skeptics
A sight fit to melt a heart of stone
As we basked in the glory
Of an arduous and extremely tiring
But ultimately successful climb
I felt incredibly thankful
For deciding to undertake this trek
For it was one of my best moments of 2021

You've been there, seen that, done that, -
But I don't care because
I have to try to be there,
I need to go and see that,
I must attempt to do that -
But this time, on my own.

WHY* I HAD TO PONDER

Wandering exploring to discovery transportation,  heading deep into the future .

Awesome GOD, amazing world, beautiful nature. No hesitation, feels good to-be found on this sagely planet .
Wonder why I had to ponder
sages are disdained .

While wickedness sustained and ordained amongst the crowd . Few are the real found in this mysterious wane full of misery . War in peace's stead.

Tribulation in place of jubilation. What growth is found without love?  True love is taken un-granted. And deceit granted.

Much more to life than envy jealousy begots evil.

But the power of love conquered poverty.
#c9_fm

There was a Young girl Rose,
Who used to had a big nose;
Everytime  she lied,
Her nose became thrice,
Oh! That poor girl Rose

What am I?

While listening to the song forgive, I did not realise it would affect me so much but guess what it did. It feels like life around me is crumbling, heart is breaking and everything is not what it seems like. I had stopped writing for days because everyone around me seemed better somehow, better in this language, better in grammar, better even in expressing whatever was in my mind. I grew up avoiding the person I was and always focused on what I want to be. I still find it hard figuring it all out. Nineteen year old teenagers who I grew up with suddenly seem so mature and complicated while I look into the mirror. I see a person struggling to breathe even though it's one of the easiest things to do. I am sorry for everything I say because deep inside of me a person keeps criticizing all my actions and I keep hitting backspace to all the words I thought i should never write, I am angry, I feel hurt but there it's directed to no one, not even myself. I want to keep asking questions and get no answer, because the answers make me feel more complete than I already feel I am. The red and blue bars under the words I write show how incorrect I am. I genuinely wish in life my actions also had these lights guiding me, but all I have is insane conversation in my mind all end up on one thing, I am never the person I think everyone deserves.
Deep breathing and closing my eyes wishing it all goes black so i can forget it all, i write as though i have gone through some big tragic event and i pray to god, i really wish i had at least then i will have something to blame but right  now i only have this unsettled feeling running through my body.
I am trying, I really am. But i keep getting hurt, nobody tells you how many scars you need to stop feeling the pain. At Least Icarus had a sun to fly to, why don't I have anything to look at?
I go silent on my own and want this world to stop and yet I crave for someone to come give me attention. I don't know what I have become like, someone who regrets every step she takes.
I do not know how to stop feeling this hate or to start feeling that true happiness. Why after moments of my greatest achievement I feel, someone else deserves it. Not me.
I really wish i could stop crying and running around circles. Is it bad to ask the genie in the aladdin's lamp how i can stop this all. I don't know what am I supposed to do while I want to ask the question about life, the grand design, i want to  just close myself in a dark room and howl like a dog, i am scared of myself sometimes, how can someone feel so much pain without any trigger ever. It makes me question this pseudo self i put myself into. What am I? Why am I this way? Give me something to blame, some label to justify this. Some therapy to fix this because right now it all feels the same, Incomplete and drowning.



Ricky Parker

I want to share
I want to give and receive
I want to dare
I want to leave.