The shadows are long,

I'm waiting, it's getting dark --


it's coming closer.

I just stopped writing

that diary of mine since --


it is never true.

The tension is gone:

it's important, or it's not --


and now it comes out.

I just see fragments

of my life, only too late --


I understand them.

Look at the people

around me to understand --


the course of my life.

I am an island,

I just have to wait and see --


if Love docks with me.

We are on the way,

and we know well: not one road --


leads to an end point.

I want other thoughts
I don't like to be alone
with those opinions
about what I do

So I turn up the music
and I work hard, with a cake
on holidays, a whole cake
all for me

And then I feel sick
and I have to throw up
Another memory
that I won't lose

It's quietly waiting for doubts
and then it stands in line
with all my thoughts
about what I have done

Not a party, not a cake
not a whole cake for me
just my work, so
don't take that away from me

False starts are not bad,

but awfully terrible --


is a false ending.

There are just no ways

to our goals, we hesitate --


and saunter about.