Do not die tonight
The heart that has become hollow
Is a sacred tomb you once built
Out of broken trinkets and feathers
Inside
A wild little girl sleeps
Holding a dream catcher close to her *****
For eternity
Rain that once pattered against your window
On nights to keep chaos at bay
Now watches over you
Silently
The neighbor’s dog howls at the
Psychic Catastrophe
As the moon dissolves into the ocean waves
Be gentle with your pain Child
She says
Know that yanking out a dozen hair strands
Will not erase ‘self-hate’
Do not stare into a mirror tonight
What you see is not You anymore
Vacant eyes and creaking bones
Your body is now home to another host
A piercing wail echoes through the night sky
And splits the city air
The broken glass on the bathroom floor
Glints like a Sailor’s forgotten treasure
Swimming over the vast red sea, kindling with its own symphony
–Afia Qamar

I love Pain and the way it makes people feel,
I love how tender and mild it is at first,
I love how annoying it is sometimes,
I love how excruciating and unbearable it is other times,
I love how indescribable and profound it is, leaving us clueless,
I love how irritating and troublesome it can be,
I love how it brings us discomfort and agony,
I love how tormenting punishing it makes us most of the time,
I love how tiring it is yet also satisfying,
I love how piercing it is that it spreads into us physically and mentally,
I love how it's scary intermittent it can become,
I love how miserable and dreadful it makes one person,
after the very long sickening and exhausting feeling
it will always leave us
empty.

I let it build up too long again.
The bin is overflowing with stinky garbage and now a simple chore has become a huge ordeal.
If I could regularly dispose of all the toxic negative thoughts accumulated in my brain it would be a relatively easy process.
But I procrastinate until all the insecurities, fears, and anger become too heavy to lift
So I drag the ******* bag behind me as it leaves a trail of stinky slime in it's wake.
I get rotten trash juice all over my hands as I dump all my emotions onto paper.
When it's all taken out and empty and I am exhausted
I put in a new liner and let the trash begin piling up again.