i force my eyes open only for them to meet the white ceiling staring back, as the light from the soundless tv changed the white to pink, the pink to red, and the red to black, making my bedroom as dark as i felt inside. i can’t bring myself to move a limb, because i know that if i did, it’d make it all real. i’m still here. maybe if i laid there long enough, i’d sink into the endless slumber that i was supposed to fall into to begin with. the colors dancing on my ceiling called me a failure over and over and over again until i shut my eyes, and the only thing staring back at me were the words ‘failed attempt’ in bold, bright lettering.