i want to be perfect
not as in the most beautiful woman
or having the ideal body shape
but as in being the best person
the one people can confide in
and take for long drives  
the person people want to live their lives with
i want to be funny
not just by making jokes
but by spreading laughter and causing smiles
the type of person you could talk about for miles
someone who is the reason for your happiness
i want to be caring
not just asking about your day or your family
but someone who just knows what to say and instantly brightens your day
a person who knows how to make you laugh so hard you cry
but also knows how to make you smile when tears have been falling from your eyes
the person who will always understand
and will never leave your side
no matter what
will be your ride or die
i want to be enough
i want to be there when things get tough
the type of person who you could never picture your life without
the type of person who without a doubt
is your person
i want to be everything you need
everything your expectations exceed
i want to be anything but me

I have been through hell an back, for a very long time I was lost an confused by my drinking an drugging, for nights & days I would hide behind my drinking because I wanted to feel more pain,
I would sit an wonder where my life is gonna go an then I would cry tears of my pain an sorrow
Then I came sober an realized what I was doing to myself an other's
I have faced my demons an worked them out
All because I got sober
An now I can actually I can look in the mirror an see a beautiful woman who loves her self agin

I'm angry with him and I still imagine the taste of his lips
I am full of ****
A hypocrite
Telling girl after girl to do better
While I touch myself to the thought of his rust colored eyes
His eyes that make me hate myself

You know it’s bad when
You start using “I hate myself”
As a way to say good morning

It's scary when you realize
how much your self worth
is dependent on Others