you ask me not to leave
you say, please
but what are you
expecting from me?
i reply
it's tempting
if only you would change
the way that you treat me

I feel as though I would follow you,
At least until you were better
Just until the okayness and normality began to swallow up your pain
Until the morning sun didn’t cue your tears and whisky didn’t taste just like survival
Until you could look at your reflection and smile, or at least not frown
I believe I would walk behind you
Until my quiet overtook your noise
Until your hands would just stop shaking and your lips could quit their quiver
Until your time stopped slowing and you could walk with others once again
Until you ceased to beg the earth for its consuming and heavens comfort seemed a bit less inviting
I understand that I might replace your sinews
Until standing didn’t hurt so much and breathing took far less effort
Until the darkness of your room stopped singing such sweet hymns and the blankets of your bed were not your only lovers
I resolve that I would stay beside you
Until the search for all the pieces lost had halted and the shards were all or mostly accounted for
Until hope was not such a sin and desire didn't taste so bitter
Until every face with maple eyes didn’t beckon your distain
Until greetings and goodbyes were less like journeys deserving rest
Until time passed had set your bones and fading remembrance began to soothe your mortal wounds  
I just dont want you be sad anymore

I am easily make believe,
Dress me up in what you want me to be,
Then rip the heart right off my sleeve.
Still I beg you not to leave.

Look around,
You know there's something out there.
Take a breath,
You know there's a reason.
Step back,
You know there's a way.
Take my hand,
Let me reach out to you.
There's a way, you know.
It doesn't have to happen like this.

Look around
Take a breath
Step back
Take my hand
Let me ---

you think you can throw your life away
without caring what others have to say,
dont take your final breath
because your all that i have left,

you take the last supper way to far
for thats the reason that i have these scars,
im begging you to open your eyes today
and at least see that i can be a reason to stay,

dont pretend like you dont know
that this isnt how it should go,
because i cant live with that as the truth
and the fires burning to the end of the fuse..

They say, "if you love something,
let it go" and that, "if it returns,
it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was",
but does that saying apply to people?
Because I don't want to let you go.
I don't want to let you walk
out of the door to my life.
You won't come back, but it's not
because you never were mine.
It's more because you don't have family here,
and once you're gone you wont have a reason
to come back here.
And it's expensive anyway to fly across the country
just for a visit with someone.
But I'll miss you. I don't want to let you go.
*I don't want you to leave me.

I don't want to sleep without you anymore
too many times I've looked to my phone
in the middle of the night, longing for your
presence; I want to inhale your essence
let me hold you in my arms and explain
how often I picture us touching.
Lets close in the distance and
become one human; individual
no more waiting for us.
If you let me try again
I swear I won't mess up..
Just let me look over and
see the timer on my skype
slowly going up, telling me
that our call is still intact
I don't want to leave your
heart cracked..
Please tell me that you're
still there....

The Saddest Part
Is That I Messed Up
Okay?!

But You Just
Didn't Have To Leave!
Why Couldn't You Just Stay!
Why?!!