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Sophia Nov 2020
i am a stray
dragging my feet through the mud
waiting for the sun to drop
so i can hide in the shadows
for a little while.

i am not where i belong
i am stuck in a wave of pitfalls
but the earth keeps revolving
can it not hear me?
can it even see me?

when i scream,
beg,
plead,
for it to stop,
for it to slow down
so i can catch up
my body is here
but my mind is somewhere else.
a poem i wrote about disassociation.
will Oct 2020
I sit alone on the floor,
the light blinks in and out.
...or perhaps it is my eyes?
that I cast now over leftwards
to look at the doorway.
Empty, as it always is,
or is now? as it should be.

I feel as though I am floating,
no, I am grounded now.
Chained here to the floor.
My body lays like bones in the ground,
unmoving and crushed by dirt.
heavy and cloying, the smell of earth.
worms dig under my skin,
wriggling parasites in my skull.

Am I decaying? like I once wished.
my thoughts like rot, what else...
but to deteriorate into darkness.
My body lays on the floor,
a useless cadaver as it always was.
I am strung to it by some means,
my ghost lingering on the dead.
Have I not moved on yet?
Emma Schelonka Aug 2020
Heavy weight on top of me
Icy
falling asleep
Eyes weak and droopy
Body in cement
Paralyzed
My spirit floating on top of my lifeless body,
Death is that you?
Why must you come and visit me but never take me to your home?
And yet you won’t let me leave
I want to let go but it seems you have me entranced by your numbness,
I want to be light as air,
Not heavy like a boulder.
I want my spirit back
Why did you take it away from me
Why did you take the vibrancy
Why did you take my eyes to see
Let me go or take me with you
How I feel when I disassociate :)
LittleFreeBird Jul 2020
I

am

bottomless


this gaping
maw

place my heart
vacated

I am
devoid

and resonance has
deserted me

this is a lonely
place to be




inside myself


.
Viseract Jul 2020
Sunken eyes, wretched mind
This void I feel is my demise
The depths to which can't be described
Reality, the biggest lie

I wander roads that can't go wrong
So will you miss me when I'm gone?
I'm right here yet so far away
Will you be the one who stays?
The subtlety of disassociation
Bansi Adroja Jun 2020
Depression is
a life lived under water
numb to feeling
robbed of sound
falling
rising in the tide
at the whim of the waves
heavy
and hopeless
Depression
Shin Jun 2020
I do not live in this world.
I merely
spy it
through the looking glass.
Elemenohp May 2020
Yes I see these memories,
But was I really there?
Body and mind both there in time,
Though soul and thoughts, were where?

The past a story written down,
The pages in a book.
Photographs on camera roll,
The ones I never took.
mymessyminds Apr 2020
It’s a funny sensation and I crave conversation
‘Cause lately, I’ve been suffering from disassociation.
So let me sum up my train of thought from yesterday:
Why did I think it would be a good idea to move to Taipei?
Nowadays I can’t recognize my own reflection
And hide behind a glass of whiskey’s protection.
After work last night, I went straight to the bar.
The place was clean but a little bit far.
The signal was bad so I cursed my phone carrier.
Then quietly cursed myself for this language barrier.
Can somebody flirt with me?
Better yet, hurt with me.
To sit down and eat a slice of dessert with me.
I just need someone to hold me.
These few weeks have been lonely.
“I just can’t trust you,” he recently told me.
With my eyes glued to the screen of my phone,
I promised myself I wouldn’t be alone.
I called up a friend to distract me from my questions.
He threw my way a couple of suggestions.
I can’t be left with my thoughts for too long.
My feelings are valid but my head’s ******* on wrong.
I stumbled outside, left my purse and laptop behind.
Luckily, the bartender caught up to me in time.
Thank you to everyone who listens to my rants.
I’m just proud that I got home before ******* my pants.
eh, mondays
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