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Yvonne Nice Apr 15
Finally leaving that most horrid pit
On the cold, wet sidewalks
I finally don't feel that ungodly pressure
That pressure to fit in
To love
To want
To feel
I don't feel unwelcome anymore
Instead I feel...
Welcomed
Like the cold streets of Portland want me to discover them
I feel Free
The calming chilly air around me has a hint of peace within
I love this feeling
The frozen rain droplets on my skin
I feel real
I feel alive
The urge to cry has finally subsided, and I can truly say that I am not alone anymore
In an oxymoron-ish way, I was welcomed by the loneliness and given a place to call freedom.
svdgrl Sep 2017
I listen to the whirr,
the white noise of the air conditioner,
the occasional thumps from upstairs,
the shifting of their chairs,
my scratching pen, mark after mark
and the mood music soft and dark
spilling out of the hidden speakers.
I'm staring at my slipped off sneakers
sitting stuck in the silence of a block,
I think of what could get me to talk.
Surrendering to what I don't like to share,
Details I would rather spare,
watching cartoons and salty bets,
bourbon and drunken cigarettes,
mostly the usual vices,
letting people to their devices.
Ever really been somewhere,
but never gone inside?
There I go, breaking the rhyme.
They kept knocking,
so I let them sit in the lobby,
I wonder if they'll leave,
if I tell them about my hobbies.
I keep my mouth shut and my doors locked,
and sip slow at my bulleit on the rocks,
I let the daze set in, and the movement of pen
do the talking,
The lights too dim,
the volumes too high,
I don't hear them knocking.
I stare at my empty glass,
at the bottom a warm stone,
I don't think I'll ever feel this alone.
I keep holding on to my only strength.
Keeping everyone new at arms length.
with only my liver left to thank.
Megan L Nov 2015
If I focus

really hard

if I tilt my head just right

and narrow my eyes just so

I can almost make the world disappear.

If I don't blink for a very long time

I can only see rough outlines-

no noise

-and I like that.

If I focus

really hard

if I close myself off

And turn my pride down just so

I can almost make the world disappear.

If I don't breathe for a very long time

I can only see white darkness-

no pressure from others

-and I like that.

If I focus

really hard

I can almost make myself die.

— The End —